Week 1’s Dark Drinks, Dark Horses & Dark Thoughts – What I Learned On And Off The Field

This by far was the most anti Labor Day weekend ever imagined for myself and the soon-to-be Mrs. Boss. We took it upon ourselves to combine and much as we could into the weekend, with anything between Birmingham and Cincinnati being fair game. More on this later, but combining over 1100 miles, a tropical storm, a family reunion, Reba McEntire, and the first full weekend of College Football….needless to say there would be a few casualties. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great trip to the Fiancé’s homeland, and this will be documented thoroughly below. A huge win was being able to walk around and examine more in depth the location of my wedding and reception in Frankfort, KY on Monday. While the church was nice…BUFFALO TRACE DISTILLERY WAS EVEN AT ITS BEST IN THE RAIN AND 60 DEGREE WEATHER. Just by walking the grounds and catching a breeze brought smells of bourbon to your nose. Plain and simple, this place was created for my wedding reception. But, with all of that said....there wasn't much downtime on the weekend. The best part was the 12 and a half hour drive back thanks to rain, wind, and flooded interstates. Let's get to it!

DARK DRINKS:

I really did not venture out into too many unknowns this weekend drink wise, unless you count the rockgut bellywash that was being poured out the to the masses at Embassy Suites Manager’s Reception Drink-a-pa-looza Friday night. The funny thing is, soon to be Mrs. B and I had a discussion in the elevator on the way down to the lobby about what to drink, as we were running late to meet friends at a bar for happy hour down on Broadway. 

“Should we get beer or liquor miss lady?”

“Well, you know Gamblin'; we really should take advantage of slamming two cocktails before we leave”.

“I know hon, but this is some pretty bad stuff. It’s worse than Benchmark.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? When have you ever turned down a drink of Bourbon? Get it together…or are you on your period?”

“You’re right hon…thanks for getting me back on the horse”

Again, just another reason why I’m marrying the right woman.  

After recovering on the drive up to Cincinnati (and I do mean recovering…) I stuck to what was free all weekend: A case of Miller Light and a bottle of Kentucky Tavern Bourbon supplied by the soon-to-be Father in Law. I’ll admit that it’s not the greatest, but the silver lining is that you don’t get the hangover that most cheap liquors give you. +1 on that.

DARK HORSES:

• Baylor - Good lord what a performance in Waco. You had the whole bar in Nashville cheering you on. Congrats on keeping me interested…and lighting it up in such a fashion that David Koresh (or would that be Janet Reno?) would be jealous.

• Derek Dooley’s pants - I’ve got to admit, I hate the color orange. It was instilled to me at a very young age. I didn’t even eat carrots, hated Clemson, and made it a point at the age of 12 to make a flyer to take to school saying “Rednecks Turn Orange In The Fall”. But this guy carries it well and it looks pretty good. Maybe classing up the sidelines will class up the program. ORANGE PANTS >>> ORANGE BLAZER

• Mississippi State - Wow. There you go again Dan Mullen. You may have a team, and unfortunately this weekend won’t exactly be a big test either as Utah State may be the worst team that Auburn sees all year, and they require 10 points in 2 minutes via an onsides kick. I still can’t buy into your team, but we will know by the end of the month if you can contend in the crowded SEC West.

• Houston Nutt - Easily the coach after week 1 that is on the hot seat. Mark Richt is close, but he can still salvage the season with the schedule he’s got. When you drop a game at home to Mormons, they don't take too kindly to that in the South.

• Richmond Spiders – It’s nice to see a Division II FCS team come into an imposing home stadium, and beat a BCS conference team who pulled out the all black uni’s for inspiration. Of course, I would too if that same team had beaten me twice in the past three years. I can’t believe that this conference is actually legitimate.

• Maryland’s uniform – I can’t decide if this was a wet dream of someone at Under Armour who thought that he’d always dreamed of seeing the villain Two Face represented on the helmets. I’m going to side with the small, small, small minority here and say that the uniforms were pretty awesome. For most of the country who has no clue what Maryland’s flag is, I could see there being an issue. However, knowing what their flag looks like and what they were trying to do…I give it a B- in special uniforms. Georgia’s uniforms however…were a complete abortion of red, black, and silver. (If that is the future, I do not want).

DARK THOUGHTS:

• Georgia – Just a terrible squad this year, and I’m sick and tired of seeing Boise State at the top of everyone’s list. Are they a GOOD Team? YES. Are they a GREAT team? NO. Everyone wants to sound cool and stand up for the little guy. <stepsonsoapbox>THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG WITH AMERICA TODAY. BOISE STATE HAS THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY MENTAILITY THAT IS RUINING THIS COUNTY BY LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT. </stepsoffsoapbox > Do you see people pulling for the Vandy or Kentucky contingent to win the SEC. HELL NO.  How about Indiana winning the BIG 10(+2)? HELL NO.  The SEC did all they could by giving UGA everything that they could want to win this game by playing in the Georgia Dome smothered with Red and Black.  GEORGIA STILL COULDN’T GET IT DONE. Kellen Moore is a quality QB, and I’ll even go as far as saying Aaron Murray is too. But we should not give credit to a team that beats a what will soon be 6 or 7 win SEC school.

• The State Commonwealth of Kentucky – WHERE DO I BEGIN? For starters, the Thursday night performance of your flagship state/commonwealth school was abysmal lacking any real sense of being able to get the season going in the right direction. I feel horrible for the reported 24,599 fans in attendance. Secondly, (which I will get into below) your state has quite the roadside attractions for people traveling the I-65 corridor. Also, parts of your state have distances measured in kilometers…which is both confusing and amusing at the same time.

• South Carolina, and the mind of Steve Spurrier - WHAT ARE YOU THINKING STEVE? ARE YOU GOING TO THROW AWAY YOUR BEST TEAM IN FOREVER AT SOUTH CAROLINA TO PROVE A POINT WITH STEPHEN GARCIA? He came close…but I think he got his point across. South Carolina has TONS of potential this season, and Steve almost threw it away being down 17-0, and 24-14 at the half. I wouldn’t call SC a “dark thought”, but the questionable decision and thought process of Steve Orr Spurrier should put some fear back into fans of the Gamecocks.

• Gamblin’ Boss – I MADE IT. I went the entire weekend (with the exception of 7-10pm Saturday night) without being able to watch any college football. To be honest, I didn’t think I would handle it as well as I did. It was a great weekend with the soon to be Mrs. B and her family in Northern KY/Cincinnati…no complaints. Was I that guy who left a family picnic after only being there less than 2 hours to go watch the Gamecocks? YES. The men there gave me props on being able to pull off such a smooth move, while many of the women asked “What kind of match or game is on TV tonight”. I’m setting the tone in what will soon be my new side of the family that Saturdays/Sundays from September to February are sacred and are not to be touched unless I give the OK first.

The 1100 mile trip to the North – a picture essay on what Kentucky has to offer

HELL IS REAL – Why yes it is. And what’s the most ironic part about this? It was within the first 2 miles of entering Kentucky. This can only mean that Lucifer is hiding out somewhere in Bowling Green, and disguising himself as a Hilltopper. 

KENTUCKY DOWN UNDER – I’m only going to assume this is where Rich Brooks and Tubby Smith are buried. Fans of the Wildcats can come pay admission to sit around and wait for the spirits to tell you the stories of Tim Couch, almost beating a ranked LSU squad…and one National Title in 1998 that was given to Tubbs as a welcoming gift from Patino.

IT’S KILOMETERS, YA’LL - WTF. Seriously Kentucky. WTF. This was taken outside of Louisville, which only tells me that Government money has now eradicated all crime and taken away the need for episodes of “The First 48” to be filmed. We’ve got money to blow on signs like this! REMEMBER HONEY, LEARNING MEASUREMENTS OF LEGENTH IS AS SIMPLE AS “KING HECTOR DIED BY DRINKING CHOCOLATE MILK”!

HARDCORE CINCINATTI REDS FAN – My mind continued to be blown as we traveled up into Ohio for a run to the greatest store on the planet, JUNGLE JIMS. (I didn’t take any pictures of it…couldn’t do it justice. (Just Google search for it…and thank me later) The best part of this picture is the Uncle Sam on top of the sweet Honda Element, HOLDING AN AK-47. Nothing says America like Uncle Sam holding a Russian made weapon.

BOATS ON THE OHIO – Now, before I talk about the class of people who were at this event…let me say that it was an awesome time. I’ve never been to a big time firework show that lasted for 30 minutes, synchronized to music and involved shooting shells from 2 bridges and a barge. HOWEVER – I saw too many Carson Palmer jerseys worn by people with too much hope in their eyes. Also, if you note, there are some really classy people who took it upon themselves to sit on the banks of the Ohio and “find their beach”. (Thanks Corona)

WHITE CASTLE – The true crime here is that you have to pay $3 for 4 Cheese Sliders. Now, I’m not one to knock regional fast food joints…but come on now. $4 is way too much to eat something that may/may not include cat. I settled for Buffalo Chicken Rings, 1 slider, and a few onion petals. Winner of the night? The soon to be Mrs. B’s family toilet at 3 AM.

Thanks for reading this far…OH AND I WENT 4-1 WITH MY PICKS! WOOOOOOOOOO WEEK 1! FOOTBAWW!!

-Gamblin’ Boss