ACC WEEK 8 (DAMN IT'S WEEK 8 ALREADY) PICKS! HORRIBLE CARNAGE AND TRAINWRECKS INSIDE!

YAYYY! ITS TDIME FO DA A C C PIX OFFTH DA WEEK!! (insert monster noises/grunts/all around sounds of displeasure)

North Carolina @ Clemson
Clemson, S.C.
12:00 PM TV: ESPN  

• First and foremost…this write-up is coming from a Carolina fan on a bye week, whom still has a bad taste in his mouth from the Derp that was the Terps this past Saturday night. You are up 18, at home, to a Clemson team that you can beat. Could you tackle? Maybe double a few WR’s? GOOD GOD. I’m still on the fence about the Tigers, but the more I watch I am starting to think they have plenty of raw talent and catching back up to the Gamecocks talent wise. Boyd seems to be doing better than what was expected at QB, so I can’t say anything other than he’s exceeded expectations. UNC has been an up and down team from what I have gathered. Hell, they couldn’t even beat a Louisville team in Chapel Hill by more than 10. That’s LOUISVILLE. It seems that Clemson is just waiting for someone to beat them, and the Tar Holes have a little bit of confidence. I’m hoping that they can be the team that brings the “Mighty Tiiiiigs” back down to earth because we all know there is only one thing worse than an undefeated Clemson team…and that’s full blown AIDS.  Pick: Clemson (but take UNC and the points)

Wake Forest @ Duke
Durham, N.C.
12:30 PM TV: ACC Network

• DON’T SLEEP ON THE DEAMON DEACONS! Just ask Florida State…who thought it would be easy to stroll into Winston-Salem and take a win. Fortunately for everyone keeping score at home, we won’t have to worry about that as Dook has the honor of taking the bus ride down I-85/40. (See what I did there? KEEPING IT LOCAL PEOPLE!) There is not a single part of this game that says “WATCH ME”, but I’m sure I’ll have to just check in to see who shits the bed first. Pick: Wake

Boston College @ Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Va.
3:00 PM TV: RSN

• God, please…just make it stop. I can’t justify this Boston College team. Pick: Virginia Tech

NC State @ Virginia
Charlottesville, Va.
3:30 PM TV: ESPNU

• All those who had Virginia beating Georgia Tech last week please step forward. DON’T YOU DARE WALK FORWARD BECAUSE YOU LIE. What a week it was for those in HooTown, USA. There weren’t enough Clorox bleach pens in Charlottesville to get all the red wine stains out of everyone’s clothes after the post-game celebration. WINE AND CHEESE FOR EVERYONE! EVEN YOU TINY TIM! NC State on the other hand has really been kicking themselves in the ass this year…well wait…TOM O’LEARY has been kicking his self in the ass this year. Was it really a good idea to tell Russell Wilson “Hey, either its all football or you are out”? Yea, brilliant there chief. Don’t look for this to be another W for the Wahoos…but at this point, who really cares? Pick: NC State

Maryland @ Florida State
Tallahassee, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ABC/ESPN2

• All those in favor of just acting like Florida State wasn’t preseason top 10 say AYE. (Resounding cheer from the northern Florida area) I know, you’ve had your injuries…and you played some tough teams…(Clemson…Wake?) but what’s happened is inexcusable. Is it too late to resurrect Bobby Bowden? Maryland…I’m shaking my head at you. What in the hell did you do last week? The ONE chance you had to remain relevant in the ACC was blown. You even brought out some more super cool uniforms! Chevy Chase Field was packed at 48,000 people going crazy! (Insert laugh about stadium size/penis size) At this point, I’d just pack it in and quit your football program and concentrate on getting Gary Williams back because you couldn’t even do the one thing that most teams can handle: WIN after having an 18 point lead in the second half.

Georgia Tech @ Miami

Miami Gardens, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ESPN

• Did they really think that by adding “Gardens” to Miami Gardens was going to spruce the place up a little? It’s still dumpy Miami and Joe Robbie Stadium if you ask me. The bet within the bet for this game will be total attendance…over/under 32,100. My heart says over, but brain says under. Georgia Teach decided to derp it up last week apparently because they were tired of being undefeated. Who knew that it was such a tough chore? Miami is easy the biggest enigma in the ACC because you never know what team will take the field. From hence forth, Miami will be called The Forrest Gump Box Of Chocolates (or TFGBOC for short) for obvious reasons. All I need is someone to Photoshop Randy Shannon’s face on Sally Field’s body to play the mom, and Nevin Shapiro to play Lt. Dan. Pick: Georgia Tech

So it's been awhile...BUT THAT'S OK!

Today is the first time in upwards of a week and a half that I have the time to update the ol’ blog. It’s been a busy few weeks, as we have had shows at my place of employment AS WELL AS a road trip to Starkville, MS. More on that later…

Is it just me or are you pissed that it’s already halfway through football season. I can’t believe that we already have Tennessee playing Alabama…and that Florida has lost three straight. Nothing makes me happier than this time of year! We haven’t run the air in what amounts to be about 2 weeks, and have had the windows open the entire time. I SAY I SAY…IT’S GOOD TO HAVE LAND.

Today marks my first day of moving into my own, brand new office. It’s not too bad, about 8 x 10, had a door and it’s my OWN personal space. Who would complain about that? Now, maybe I can get a few people to come say hello and “spend some time in my office”. MOVIN’ ON UP!

So that whole Starkville trip…

It started with a wakeup call about 5:30 and heading out the door at 6AM. It’s a relatively short 2.5 hour drive over to the promised land of Mississippi, and the Ms. Boss was more excited than I could believe. Once we finally got into town, traffic nonexistent for 3 HOURS PRIOR TO KICKOFF! I couldn’t believe it. The stadium/campus itself wasn’t too terrible. Very open, very green…just what you would expect from an agricultural school. Even the fans were friendly…and even joked about how annoying the “COWBELLS” are. (Again, more on this later). We finally get to park about 1/3 mile from the seats, and would you guess it? 2 MSU fans having a cup of coffee and reading The Wall Street Journal. BIZZARO WORLD. 

After doing due diligence on taking down a bottle of Piggly Wiggly’s finest champagne and OJ, we turned our attention to cold Natty Light around 10AM or so. It felt so right, so early…it was college all over again…with the exception of being in enemy territory. The walk to the stadium was very quiet, very low key. No partiers, no cheering…just waddling to the stadium. Now, I made the comment on the ol Facebook feed that “if you want an ACC experience and don’t want to leave the comfort of your SEC state…Davis-Wade stadium is for you!”. I couldn’t have been more right. This place was a joke. It was so bad, Clemson may (I REPEAT MAY) be better. 10 minutes before kickoff, you got the token, “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT” song. The Bulldogs come out to Will Farrell’s skit “WE NEED MORE COWBELL”. Then, you get techno music from some random European trash spinning in the background. Right before kickoff you get the “MAROON” and “WHITE” cheer, which…I’m all for fan support and cheers but 2 syllables makes it very difficult to keep up with. NEED I NOT FORGET TO MENTION that the East upper was white shirts, lower was maroon. West upper was maroon, lower was white. Carolina can’t even coordinate a shade of garnet…so for this, I give MSU and their fans an A+. They sure as hell can work up them tin cans and telegraph lines to make pretty things happen!

During the game, it was an unexpected back and forth battle. Normally, if this was an SEC stadium, you would have been able to cut the tension with a knife. You’d have fans cheering and going crazy at every opportunity. This wasn’t the case at ol’ Davis-Wade. I kid you not, Connor Shaw was taking snaps on the 25 and I could hear him. Just unreal. Maybe it was the fact that they wanted to play “guess which car wins the race” during timeouts. Or, it could be “pick the Bulldog who has a treat in his mouth”. Or, it could be the great in game advertisements about catfish ponds or Dan Mullen inviting you on down to Richard’s bar after the game. For 3.5 hours, I felt like I was at a hokey, wacky, jump the shark ACC game. It was like football wasn’t the reason why you were there. There was never a sense of urgency or “Get Loud!”. Even with the cowbells, I was expecting a little more intimidating atmosphere. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I guess it’s just how things are down on the farm, and I’m sure that the 11:22 kickoff had something to do with it too. It just didn’t have the feel of big time football. Maybe this is what it would have been like to go to school at UNC or NCSU…or (insert any other ACC school).

Now, on to the most important issue that has been bugging the t-total shit out of me since Saturday. I’m not going to bash Carolina fans..but either we have some of the DUMBEST fans in the world…or simply put 80% of people have little to no concept on how the game of football is played. Let me entertain you with some examples from Saturday:

A – Holding. As a former offensive lineman, holding happens on every play. 9 times out of 10, you don’t get caught. It’s also understood by the majority of people who understand football that it happens too. HOWEVER, many loud, obnoxious middle aged women have no idea what holding is, or how it should be called on the field. Just because an offensive lineman is doing is job and standing up a defensive player, keeping him from getting to the QB is NOT HOLDING. When an offensive lineman has a defensive player turned sideways when their QB takes off to scramble; THAT IS NOT HOLDING. STOP YELLING “HE’S HOLDING REF! HOLDING!” Ugh. Nothing makes me want to bang my head into the concrete faster than this. If you see Offensive linemen grabbing jersey, that’s a hold. If you see an offensive lineman’s hand’s outside of the other team’s shoulders while blocking…it’s usually holding. Remember, there is 2 refs looking at the line for holding, and I’m sorry…sometimes it doesn’t get called. It is subjective, but hopefully this post will educate you enough to not annoy the piss out of everyone at the game around you.

B- Running outside the tackles with a RB build for the inside zone. Now again, this post is not too relevant with Lattimore on the bench, but it could be enough to pull your head out of your ass and say “I can be smart and understand which running backs work…and where”. In this case, middle aged woman was going crazy because “WE CAN’T RUN IT UP THE MIDDLE” and “WE NEED TO RUN IT OUTSIDE NOW WITH LATTIMORE”. There are a few things wrong with this statement. First, if they are stacking the box (the area where the LB and DL play) with 7 or more players, you aren’t going to be able to successfully run it to the outside. Generally, this is accomplished with 4 down lineman, and 3 to 4 LB’s playing behind them securing the corner or dropping back into a read/zone. If you aren’t going to make it up the middle, off to the side is not easy either. Secondly, Lattimore…if you haven’t noticed…is not/was not an outside the tackle running back. Our offense is based off of a little thing called the INSIDE ZONE. We aren’t a team with tons of speed on the outside to run sweeps.  

C – Running the Option inside of the 10 yard line on your game winning drive: This was unacceptable. A grown ass man yelled out no 1^st and Goal from the 8 to “RUN THE OPTION”. Let’s look at the situation. First, we had a freshman at RB. Secondly, why would we pitch the ball and run the risk of a fumble? (See Georgia/Andrew Pinnock) Third, we aren’t even an option team. All of this made zero sense.

D – Taking an intentional safety to win the game: My goodness…you would have thought that we were going to be solving all of the world’s problems during the final 4 seconds. I heard everything from “run around and don’t get tackled” to punting the ball. Yea, let’s punt the ball out of our end zone and run the risk of a block recovered for a TD…or even a kick returned! It was simple…take the safety and end the game. Get out of Starkville with the W. (Editor’s note: I understand those that yelled anything other than SAFTEY likely had Carolina -3.5 or -4…resulting in a loss)

Again, I’m not saying that I am not everything in the game of football…but just please pay attention in the future.

 -Gamblin Boss

ACC WEEKLY EGG TOSS PICKS WITH SISTER HAZEL!

(Click play…and start reading!)

This week, I am offering up a unique way to help bring the ACC weekly egg toss picks closer to home, with more emotion. I give you the best thing to come out of Gainesville other than Steve Spurrier and Muschamp's STARE OF DEATH… I give you SISTER HAZEL!

 “I miss you -I miss being overwhelmed by you. And I need rescue -I think I'm fading away. But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear - I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room…”

• I’m 110% positive that this has to do with the ACC’s lusting desires for Miami in 2005. Why else would you want Larry Coker and his 2001 National Title to come whisper in your ear while laying in bed? We all know that Virginia Tech isn’t going to get it done this year either…so look for this game to be miserable to watch. Nothing like 2 overhyped teams playing in a county with more meth labs per capita than any other in VA! Pick: VT

“So I wait and I wait…and I run old scenes through my tired head- Of the days we laid by the school and said forever…Was that the best I'll ever be?”

• See… here’s the part where everybody starts to question if FSU in 1999 and Miami in 2001 will be the best the ACC will ever be. I’d have to say with yes…that is the best you will be Championship wise. However...UNC and Louisville play this week, and I’ve got to say…The Cardinals are likely asking themselves the same question after winning the Orange Bowl in 2007. This game is a tough one, but I’ll have to give the nudge to UNC at home. BUT, TAKE THE POINTS AND LOUISVILLE! Pick: UNC

“I miss you. I miss talking all night long with you, and I need this to find a way to your home. My love can you hear me? Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough? Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone – alone?”

• OK…outside of being overtly creepy and stalkerish…this isn’t a bad question for John Swofford to be asking Bobby Bowden. Let’s be honest here for a second…Bobby Bowden was the ACC and was the main driving force in the conference for 2 decades. Close your eyes and imagine a grown ass man weeping into a phone saying “Bobby, come back! I need you!” Good thing for FSU, they play Wake Forest this weekend and they will not need any help beating the Daemon Deacons. Although, EJ Manuel is back for the Seminoles, so no more sleeping all alone on the sidelines! Pick: FSU

“So I wait and I wait, and I run myself in the same old circles. I sit and I stare, and I run old scenes through my tired head of the days that we laid by the school and said forever….Was that the best I'll ever be?”

• NC State fans, but I’m sorry. Your football team will never be anything, but you had the chance before your head coach told Russell Wilson that he couldn’t play 2 sports. Yea, that didn’t hurt you at all did it? I mean, it’s not like Wisconsin is good this year or anything…right? Speaking of running in the same old circles, do you think a directional Michigan school ever gets lost…or just “runs around in circles”? Either way, look for more of the same from those types of schools this week. Pick: NCSU

“Can't keep my hands from shaking….Stumbling through the wreckage again….But you're gone”

• Dude, I can’t think of a better analogy for Maryland than this. Remember, you beat Miami with some hellacious uniforms! Sadly, since you can’t throw, catch, or run the ball from you shaking so much because you got just a little bit of attention, you drop one at home to TEMPLE! I’m pretty sure that the Terps will be stumbling through the Georgia Tech Ramblin’ Wreckage again. (See what I did there?) Pick: Georgia Tech          

“So I wait and I wait, and I run myself in the same old circles. And I sit and I stare…And I run old scenes through my tired head. Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever…Was that the best I'll ever be…Was that the best I'll ever be….Was that the best I'll ever be?”

• Everyone…unless you are reading via cell phone… close your eyes and think about this. Don’t you see Danny Ford and Dabo Swinney skipping down The Hill after rubbing Howard’s rock? All of a sudden, both of them lying on their backs talking about the alleged 1981 National Title while picking flowers and caressing each other’s face? Clemson fans have to be asking right about now if that was the best they will ever be. Quite frankly, they are going to fall ass backwards into an 8-9 win season…or greater if they don’t F it up. It kills me to say this, but I think Clemson destroys Boston College because they will never, ever, be the best at anything football related. If they lose, it’s only because Dabo is daydreaming about forever with Danny Ford. Pick: Clemson.

-Gamblin Boss

My Weekly Picks, “I’m A Certified Member of ShameCocks Anonymous” & Ramblings

First, let me begin by saying thank you to those of you who have hung in there and kept up with this blog when others haven’t. We all get busy, and this is just a forum for ideas…so you can’t really bitch about free things. We did come out of the gate hot, but jobs come first...but with that said I have a pretty open Friday, so here’s what has been on my mind for the past week or so:

#1 – The South Carolina Gamecocks…my pride and joy for every day of my 10,141.75 (that’s 365.25 days a year) days of existence…have become the most frustrating thing to watch since Obama getting elected. I’ve been there for 3-6-2 seasons. I was there for 1-10.I was there for when Clemson fans thought it was funny to throw “ZERO” candy bars on your porch after losing to them and going 0-11. Let’s really, really, really hope that this is only grooming my patience for when I have a little Gamblin’ Boss of my own to teach the right and wrongs of the world. If that is all I get out of it, then it’s going to be a plus. Otherwise I’m going to be dead by the age of 42 and fully gray by 35. Can we not get our shit together? (Speaking of shit…I’d like to present the reason behind my picture choice above. I would like to offer the analogy to you that South Carolina is competing in their first marathon. Winning the SEC East last year was a 10k challenge, so this year they are going all in. Many months have been spent training and practicing for this moment. Finally, they get close to the finish line and shit themselves. You can make the finish line whatever you like! Use your imagination!

 By far, we have the talent to play really good ball, but where is it? Has Spurrier’s pride and hard ass mentality of Garcia over the past years finally caught up to him? Is he accepting that the copious suspensions and public bashing/criticism can all be wiped away by a season where “we are here to coach Stephen and he will do the best that he can do”? Bullshit. You can’t tell someone for 3 years how horrible they are, how much better they need to play, .etc and all of a sudden say that you are fine. Oh yea, Lattimore ran for what, 17 times again Auburn? I give Chiznik a nod to coaching, although any idiot can beat SC. Stack the box with 8…then on 3^rd and long sit back and play cover 2 with a spy. It aint difficult! If we don’t beat Kentucky like a rented mule, I’m going to go ahead and hope I don’t have to travel for the bowl game…as the BBVA Compass Bowl is here in Birmingham! YAY MEDIOCRITY!

#2 – Paul Finebaum, and other sports talk radio – A funny thing happened to me on the way in to work today. WJOX here in the ‘ham was doing their daily rundown of SEC games for the upcoming week… LSU/UF, UT/UGA, UA/VANDY, MSU/UAB…on and on. They get to the end and say “well, I guess that’s about it. We can’t think of any other SEC game this week that we missed”. No mention of South Carolina. Not even a peep. I understand I’m living in a place where I’m going to catch shit, and I’m OK with that. Bammer fans are making fun of SC because we lost to a team that …remember…had to score twice in 2 minutes to beat Utah State. Also, we’re the team that lost at home to the team that let Clemson hang 600 yards of offense on them. Auburn fans? You have no idea what I get on the roads. Driving with a Gamecock logo and license plate frame on your car is a target for abuse. Going back to the talk radio angle, no one takes the SEC East or South Carolina seriously…and rightfully so. It’s painful to listen to any local talk here because it makes you realize that A – SC will never…EVER…be an elite team and B – SC will never, ever, get the respect it wants from fans west of Georgia.

#3 – Fantasy Football – I think I have turned a corner. Even after winning my league last year…I think I have lost the will to compete in fantasy football. What’s funny, I can’t put a finger on why.

Reasons why I love Fantasy Football: competitive, fun, easy, get to BS with other people in the league, make trades that involve risk, opportunity to win money

Reasons why I am burnt out on Fantasy Football: in a league where you have diehards and space fillers, lack of competitive talk, lack of people paying for the league, other things to do on a Sunday, lack of time to commit during the week

Again, I have no clue why this happened this year…but it did. Of the 3 leagues I am in, I just don’t care about it. I love football, and I love being around other people that love it as much as I do. Maybe I just surrounded myself with too many space fillers…or maybe I’ve become one to some extent.

#4 – COLD BEER. I love me a drink…but not in the “Holy shit I need a drink and it’s 3PM” but more of the “Man, there is nothing better than a cold draft beer and football on the big screen”. I don’t know what it is, but if you are either outside or watching sports…BEER TASTE DELICIOUS. Last Saturday we spent about 4 hours at Buffalo Wild Wings and I tell you what, those pitchers went down like water. Even when Carolina got beat I still enjoyed the taste. Now, I am a big Bourbon connoisseur…this much is true…but there are just times when beer blows dark liquor out of the water.

#5 - Facebook blows. I’m starting to take a page out of my fellow writer 63 Sports and turn my back away from it. When you think about it, Facebook could be like a giant star that is full of life…then continues to grow so large that it can no longer contain itself…and slowly collapses. I’m to the point in my life where I don’t feel the need to hop on a see what everyone else is doing constantly. More so, I don’t see the need to update my status or “LIKE” whatever someone else has posted. What’s even worse…checking in to a place that you should be…such as “HOME” or “at work”…AND CHECKING IN ANYWHERE IN GENERAL. This is becoming a way to humble brag about things to the 10000^th degree. Why should someone care if you are checking into the Biltmore Estate? What about if you check into the wrong tailgate spot? “Oh God! I did it again! It says I’m in the Fairgrounds but really I am at Carolina Walk!” Then of course, you could be that guy who checks into an airport…the biggest tool move of them all. Why? Because nothing says attention whore more than “I’m getting to travel but I’m not going to tell you where so you better ask, like, or comment on my status so other people could see it because I’m too goodie goodie and don’t want to brag about where I am going even though I should tell you because you are my friends, right?”.

#6 – The Yankees – THANK GOD THEY GOT BEAT. THAT IS ALL.

PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! PICKS! 

Here’s who I like this week:

Louisville +14 @ UNC

Oklahoma – 10.5 @ Texas

Pitt @Rutgers +7

Central Michigan @ NC State -10.5

Florida @ LSU – 13

A SHE SHE / ACC PICKS THAT ARE SURE TO BE AS BAD AS THEIR CONFERENCE

Ok, I'll be honest...I haven't had the time I wish I had to dedicate to the blog over the past week to week and a half. We're moving stuff around at work, odd hours, and we've picked up in business.

It's not an excuse...it's just tough trying to sneak in an hour of putting picks together for your blog and get work done at the same time. Also, it's the ACC...so I can't really get excited to dedicate time, ya know?

With that said, HERE WE GO!

Duke @ FIU - I hate Dook. I mean, this is a pathetic game. You thought last week was bad...gee golly whiz it's going to be hell on earth for anyone watching this game. Over/under on attendance.... 8,293. This may have just as many TV viewers. I'm taking the home team here...simply because you don't have to be good in the ACC...you have to be DOOK GOOD. Pick: FIU

UNC @ ECU - Well, well, well...it looks like Western Carolina got left out of the "get to know your other non-relevant directional schools in NC week". This one will be a squeaker, and it could go either way. ECU has an explosive offense, and UNC on defense..is well...UNC on defense. Pick: ECU

Bethune Cookman @ Miami - This can't be real, can it? Are we being serious? Get your act together ACC and try to play at least someone relevant for out of conference tune ups...but my Lord this is setting a new standard. I'm sure the joke here is "how much did Miami pay these guys"....so I'll leave that to your imagination. Pick: Miami

Clemson @ Virginia Tech - For the love of God and all that is holy...please Virginia Tech, show up and destroy Clemson on Saturday. We all know they are not that good of a team...and you are the last line of defense against a great season for them. Please don't let them have to go through the gauntlet of UNC, NCSU, Dook, Maryland, (insert all other ACC schools here). Pick: Virginia Tech

Georgia Tech @ NC State - So outside of the state fair gearing up in a few weeks, look for this game to provide about the only excitement to the triad area for some time. Georgia Tech looks like they are the kind of team that would win the ACC again and have to give up the title due to NCAA allegations...but we'll just have to see. I'll be upset if the Yellow Jackets don't SWARM all over the Wolfpack. (yea, I went there) Pick: Ga Tech

Idaho @ Virginia - Wow, what do you think the kids getting off their flight at Charlottesville Regional will have to say about this game? It's got to be a vacation, I mean hell...any one will tell you that "Charlottesville is quite lovely in the fall". I don't see this as being an entertaining game at all...and I promise you that some jackass has already tried to tie in a Vandals/Rich People/Not in my neighborhood referance....so I'll just let it slide. By the way... DID YOU SEE WHAT SO MISS DID TO THE HOO'S LAST WEEK? That's right...I called that.
Pick: UVA

Towson @ Maryland - So I'm assuming this was another great team to play that doesn't really count as a road trip. Again, way to go Maryland...let's schedule someone awesome like...TOWSON. Also, way to poop the bed last week against Temple. Normal teams would have crapped themselves, got up, took a shower, and cleaned off. You however....decided to make it a point after defecating to roll around in it like you had flames coming off of you. What a Terrpible (see what I did there) school, what a terrpible conference. Pick: Maryland

Wake Forest @ Boston College: Easily the showcase game of the weekend. The flying high Eagles are coming off of a big win against UMass (don't make fun of the kid eating glue...let them have their moment) to host the Demon Deacons. I don't really care for either one of these teams, but I'll have to give it to the home team. After all, Bahston has to have something to follow this time of the year sports wise. (oooohhhh take that RED SAWKS!) Pick: Bahston College

-Gamblin Boss

YOUR WEEK 4 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS & STIMULUS PACKAGE!

You want to make more money? SURE WE ALL DO!

So the economy is in the tank right now. You've downgraded from Crown Royal to Canadian Hunter. You’ve gone from Fat Tire, down to Sierra Nevada, down to Miller Lite…and now chugging 30 packs of Schlitz because that’s all you can afford. Now, I’m not here to say that I’m advocating something as “legal” as gambling…because this information is SOLELY for entertainment purposes. If you happen to bet the farm on something and it doesn’t work out…well…blame it on the refs/weather/fans/hungover players/coaches/ but just not me. I’m going to give you my best 5 picks of the week…do with it what you will. Good luck, God speed, and always remember that “scared money doesn’t make money!”.

Someone pooped the bed and rolled around in it last week. That was me. It was an awful week. 1-4, down 16 units…and below 50% in winners. Let’s hope this week is better!

Last Week: 1-4

Overall: 7-6-2 (46% winning)

Units +/-: -5

WEEK 4 RELEASES

LSU -6 (4 units)

Vandy +15.5 (3 units)

ND -7 (3 units)

Auburn/Florida Atlantic UNDER 58 (2 units)

Florida State +3 (2 units)


GL,
-Gamblin Boss

ACC / A SHE SHE WEEK 4 PICKS THAT WILL LIKELY GO WRONG!

Did anyone else catch what was going on last night in Cincinnati? I’ll give you a hint. An ass-whipping commenced, in which the Bearcats (BIG EAST PRIDE!) took down the Wolfpack of North Carolina State. By far, ESPN had nothing else to show…and when you throw in the likes of Craig James and Jesse Palmer in the booth, you find yourself shoving anything in your eyes and ears to make it stop. What else are you going to watch? 2 hours of Grey’s Anatomy?

ON TO THE PICKS! 

(Also, click on the video and let the music play while reading, because it just sets the mood for ACC footbawwww!)

Temple @ Maryland : The mighty Terps are hosting another home game in which they will be wearing more ridiculous uniforms. Temple pooped all over my pick last week, and kept it close with Penn State. Again, Maryland…I don’t know what to make of you. This game is a true 50/50 split. I won’t be surprised if the Owls come into College Park and take one, but I think the home team wins it here. Pick: Maryland

Southern Miss @ UVA: Caruthers better strap himself in and try to smuggle in a bag of their finest Franzia to sit through this one. The Fightin’ Brett Favres are something to be reckoned with, and I strongly feel that this could be a win (upset) over the ‘Hoos. This will be another game in which the ACC fails to shine against a weaker opponent. I’ll give the nod to Southern Miss here. Pick: SoMiss

Virginia Tech @ Marshall : OK VIRGINIA TECH, WE GET IT ALREADY. YOUR SEASON DOESN’T START UNTIL WEEK 5! Unreal. Frank Beamer must be spooning John Swofford on the regular to get a cakewalk of a schedule. Look out Mrs. B! It’s going to be a doozy this weekend. Aunt Bea did more for pickles on the Andy Griffith show than what this schedule is doing for Virginia Tech. At least pickles fill you up…compared to the emptiness that you feel inside after playing Marshall. Pick: Virginia Tech

Florida State @ Clemson: OOOOHHHH WEEE! WE GOT US A TOP 25 MATCHUP HERE BOYS! (Note that this is the ONLY top 25 matchup that the ACC has this week…let that sink in….) This is no longer the Bowden bowl, which has taken some of the luster off of this game. Florida State is banged up, and Clemson is coming off of a big (?) win against a train wreck of an Auburn team. It’s a typical Vegas trap game with the huge line swings. FSU has a great defense, and it’s proven that they could crap out turds better than Auburn. Pick: FSU

Kansas State @ Miami: Miami last week took Ohio State to the woodshed, and I don’t know where they got it from. I look at this as two average teams from two average conferences…and one coming off of a big win at home last week. Miami can’t seem to get going, with a loss to Maryland, but defeating Ohio State? My head says Miami runs away, but I think K State keeps it close. Pick: Miami

UNC @ Georgia Tech: Georgia Tech put up video game numbers last week against Kansas, and look for more of the same this week. While there won’t be over 600 yards rushing, I see a big day for the Ramblin’ Wreck. I can’t buy into any team that barely wins at home (UNC), so combine that with being on the road…Pick: Georgia Tech

Tulane @ Dook:  WHY LORD, HAVE THOU FORSAKEN ME? WHY IS THERE SUCH A HORRIBLE MATCHUP? Who in their right mind says, “You know what? Let’s take the family and head up to Durham for some great, classic, and intense college football action.” C’MON HONEY! THE BLUE DEVILS ARE PLAYING TULANE! I HOPE THEY HAVE A JAZZ BAND! Somewhere, Dan Beebe is saying “I can maybe, somehow, run the intramural programs at one of these schools. It’s got to be more competitive than this”. Pick: Tulane (Because in the ACC, you don’t have to be good….you have to be DOOK GOOD)

And finally…. (stop the music above)

UMass @ Boston College: (taking a page from Van Pelt) Hey Towmmy, listen here. Finally, we get a football game to determine who is the most Massachusetts  team in dah whorld! Who needs DA SOX RITE NOW? WHO NEEDS DA PATS? We have a football game with the most wicked hawdcore mascots of all time. First, we got da Minutemen. LISTEN TO ME TOWMMY. LISTEN. What is more American and patriotic than being a Minuteman? NOTHIN! Except for the bloody dahmn sock from Curt Schilling and his performance where he gave his life on the mound for DA SOX…BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!!!!!!  DAH UMASS MILITIA MINUTEMEN WIN

Ok Sal, shut up just for one minute here while I ask ya a question. What the F is on top of an American flag? What the F do you see as our national bird? WHAT DID THOSE BADASSES AT NASA DECIDE TO CALL THE SPACESHIP THING THAT LANDED ON THE F*CKING MOON? THE EAGLE. EAGLE! IF IT WASN’T FOR AN EAGLE, NEIL I’M-GOING-TO-STROLL-ON-THA-MOON-ARMSTRONG WOULDN’T EXIST! Tha only Minuteman that ever wins is when you are in bed with that lady you call your live in girlfriend Tiffany and she gets bad because you can’t last longer than a minute in bed. HIIII YOOOOOO!!!!!  Listen here Sal, I know we had out troubles against the mighty Wildkittens from Northwestern, and got blownout by those KNIGHTS in Flahrida….BUT MAHRK MHY WHURDS…WE TAKE ONE FROM THAT TRASH FROM AMHURST!

Pick: Bashtun College  

-Gamblin Boss

Conference Realignment & How the PAC-12 Saved the Day

 This has been the most upside down week in college football due to realignment talks. Everyone has been living in fear due to what may happen, in which our beloved conferences are/were on the brink of turning into 16 team Super Conferences.  I’ve had many discussions with people who firmly believe that we are on the brink of Armageddon in College Football. In light of this past week’s events I’d like to believe that we have stepped it back from DEFCON 2 to DEFCON 3. Below I’d like to take you on a journey…and finish up with why the PAC-12 saved the day.

ACC:

Well, I’ve got to just go ahead and get this out there…Everyone be afraid. John Swofford has really done it this time by creating one of the strongest football conferences ever assembled by adding Syracuse and Pittsburgh. Wait, what’s that Chancellor Nancy Cantor of Syracuse? This is all about Olympic sports? 

"I would say that our concerns are really forward looking with respect to the ACC. The issues for us is that we have increasingly strong Olympic sports across the board, women sports -- the ACC is a wonderful match for that for us. And we really are obviously very excited about that." 

I won’t go into the sheer comedic value of this statement, as Gene Wojciechowski covers this in his article on ESPN. What I will get into is just how awful of a move this is. What do you gain by adding either? If you wanted to be ballsy, go after West Virginia. That would have at least added SOME credibility to your conference quality wise. UGH – It’s hard enough already talking about how easy it is for the ACC on the gridiron, and how they get an automatic BCS game, I’ll never know. But again, it doesn’t help your case when you take 2 from a conference that has long had a question mark about their quality as well. Hey Cincy and Uconn, you guys want to buy some BCS tickets? 

I rank this move about a 6 out of 10, and I’ll give them credit where it’s due by bumping up current ACC team’s buyouts to leave the conference, and a preemptive move to 14 teams. In basketball, this will be great. But if you are trying to pack the stands and drive attendance to your games…it’s a fail. How many road trips will the SC/NC/GA/FL schools take to Pittsburg and Syracuse? Not many….

Big East-

Oh John Marinatto, it’s time for you to make yourself a history. You are now Davy Crockett defending the Alamo. I know you had a conference last night in NYC, and I know that you’ve been given the thumbs up from all remaining conferences about their commitment to you and the Big East. I do want to this down in a football/basketball sense, because we all know the Georgetown/Providence/.etc schools don’t field a football team. 

Football: OK, so you have been depleted by 2 schools that have had better days, but with the schools that you are talking about adding…you could make the Big East a better conference. By looking at Army and Navy, you would have 2 of the 3 service academies, and keep things for the most part regional. This would guarantee you a national game on CBS at the end of the year, and bring their tradition and pageantry to your conference. Many have thought about bringing East Carolina up from C-USA, and this could be a great move as well. They have shown they can compete with the big boys (see Virginia Tech / South Carolina from this year), and have a loyal fan base that will travel. (Due to the fact there aint shit to do in Greenville, NC…but I digress).

Basketball: It’s hard to imagine the Big East being void of Syracuse and Pitt…but more so Syracuse.  The ‘Cuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim will feel right at home in the ACC and their exposure. BUT COME ON. Syracuse/Uconn is a hell of a rivalry. Not to mention ALL OF THE OTHER BASKETBALL SCHOOLS! The Big East in basketball is the SEC in football…and to an extent the ACC in basketball. Quick, SEC football - what comes to mind? Auburn, Alabama, Florida, Georgia. ACC basketball? North Carolina and Duke. Big East basketball? Georgetown, Syracuse, Villanova, Uconn. It’s all about recognition, and unfortunately the Big East has lost one of their greats. This will be the hardest spot to fill, as you won’t find any school with this much tradition sitting around and waiting.

If the Big East gets their act together, I see it helping out in football, and irreplaceable talent in basketball. 5 out of 10

SEC – Hold it right there Texas A&M. I know that we said we were all about having you, but now that your brothers and sisters are apologizing, we may not want you to join our family just yet. I’m not fully convinced that Mike Slive wants TAMU in the SEC just yet. To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants in general. If the Big 12 makes it with no teams jet setting to other conferences, then does he want to be the one to pull the lynchpin? We all know the ACC is up to 14 teams, but come on. 12 SEC schools are better than 14 ACC schools. The SEC has always been on the forefront of Conference development, by adding South Carolina and Arkansas in 1992, and being the first conference to have a 12 team, 2 division leagues with a championship game. Look for these guys to jump to 14 teams…but there is always the chance TAMU stays put in the Big 12. However, if they do make the move…and the SEC goes after Missouri (as indicated), one report has Auburn making the move to the East. Chaos.

PAC 12: Well wouldn’t you look at that. Commissioner Larry Scott has proven that he has quite the brain on his shoulders, and that more is not always best. Finally, someone has some sense and says no to expansion. It’s not that Oklahoma wouldn’t have been a good fit out west; it’s more about what makes sense at the time. These guys just expanded, so why do it again. Also, why would you want to be the bad guy who makes the monumental shift to stealing big names from other top conferences? I applaud his hands off approach when it comes to adding in existing Big 12 members. Let those idiots fight it out amongst themselves…and then go from there. Patience is a virtue, and I firmly believe this is what gives Larry Scott a bump to being one of the top Commissioners in big time college athletics today. 

Big 12 – LIVE AT 6, ...We have a hostage situation in Las Colinas! Commissioner Beebe has a gun held to his head by what appears to be a horse mascot by the name of Boomer or Sooner. We can’t get an official ID; stay tuned to NEWS 5 ALIVE 5 SUPERDOPPLER 4000X!!! What balls Oklahoma has. They pretty much are standing up to Beebe and demanding that he be fired, and Texas give up a chunk of their objectives with the Longhorn Network. (No high school games, no Big 12 conference games) If these are not met, they may jet off to another conference. I firmly believe that OK has been bluffing the entire time to just stick it to the Big 12’s darling Longhorns. Of course, many see Nebraska’s move as the initial F YOU to the conference…and setting the dominoes to fall one way or the other. Many, many people in Alabama could see TAMU staying put (as well as other Big 12 schools) if their demands are met.

 In times like these, it’s best to exercise caution, and if we follow Larry Scott’s method…college football remain safe and viable for years to come.

-Gamblin Boss

Week 3's Dark Drinks, Dark Horses, and Dark Thoughts (COLUMBIA, SC EDITION!) - What I learned on and off the field

Dark Drinks:

Saturday morning kicked off with a cold beer and Bojangles about 10:15am; which is pretty much the best base layer that you could ask for when you have a day of tailgating ahead of you. We had a very long day planned of football and cocktails, and of course walking around to shake hands and kiss babies of the friends and other fellow alumni that I had not seen since last year. (Or since the engagement of me and the soon to be Mrs. Boss) I love tailgating, and I love being around my family and friends. They make it easy to sit around and have a drink. The conversation is outstanding and smart ass jokes and Kentucky/Clemson bashing makes it even better. Let’s flash forward to game time, where I have perfected the art of taking booze into a game. Simply flatten a 16 ounce water bottle, fill, and screw the top back on while flattened. This makes for an excellent disposable flask. I will also mention that pops pulled a move that should be praised, in running to the luxury box to see friends and reload on mini bottles for the second half. It’s a good thing he did, because the 24-21 final of the Navy/SC game made it a necessity. Below I’ll mention about what we got into going out after the game, but something as small as finishing up the night at an old school hangout bar with $1.25 Natty Light bottles (NEW! READ BELOW!) and a sub from your favorite shop at 2AM, makes you one happy and nostalgic college kid all over again.

Dark Horses: 

• Vanderbilt – Alright everyone…I’m acknowledging the elephant in the room and talking about it. This is not your father’s Vanderbilt Fightin’ Commodores. After manhandling Houston Nutt’s team in Nashville Saturday, Vandy is now tied for first in the SEC East. I’m not saying that SC needs any more motivation than knowing what happened a few years ago in Columbia…(6-1, #6 in the Nation, and lost on the 20^th of October at HOME to VANDY) but get ready to see what this team really is about. On paper, it shouldn’t be close…but if by some chance that ‘Dores make it past the Gamecocks, they are in the driver’s seat for the SEC East. Think about that. The end could be, and likely is, near.

• The Triple Option – Now, keep in mind this is coming from a former offensive lineman who LOVED TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN RUN THE FOOTBALL BETWEEN THE TACKLES. With that said, I love the option. I love the option even more when it’s ran to perfection…and that is what Navy did. They don’t have the athletes, nor do they have the speed or talent of a high caliber SEC squad. But what they do have is a quirky offense that works. Think about the old Dan Patrick line, “You can’t stop them…you can only hope to contain them”. It works here too. There wasn’t any question that South Carolina didn’t have the best team on the field, as they CLEARLY moved the ball without issues. (Unless you throw a busted hitch/go route off of your back foot…Garcia) The Triple Option offense is a beautiful thing when it is ran to perfection, and your team isn’t on the other side of the ball. Navy almost proved…well did prove depending on who you ask…that their style of offense is the great equalizer in college football.

• LSU & Their Defense- LSU wouldn’t be a true dark horse, but good Lord their defense is good. Their front 7 is something that defensive coordinators fanaticize about. Eight of their players had a tackle for a loss. MSU was held to under 200 total yards of offense. 15 tackles for a loss, 4 of those being sacks. If you are any team in the SEC West, you have the right to be terrified of this team. Mark it down, LSU wins the West. If you line up and know your front 7 is better than their front seven…on EITHER side of the ball…you win.

• Beezer’s subs…still good even after you graduate – There are few things that you obviously can’t do once you graduate college on a college football weekend. However, making it a point to go to Beezers (803-771-7771) at 2AM after a long day of celebrating takes you back to your younger days on campus. Godfather, meat and cheese only, extra hot sauce, oil, vinegar. 

• Natty Light in Red Stripe Bottles – I’ve never been so happy, shocked, and all around impressed with a move to bottles like the fine folks at Anheuser-Busch have done. After crashing Uncle Louie’s for $1.25 bottles, I was handed what I thought was a Red Stripe beer. To my surprise, I turned the label to read NATURAL LIGHT. What is this? How is this possible? This by far was one of the biggest highlights of the weekend because it is a beautiful thing to crush crappy beer through a classy bottle. Also, it was refreshing to be able to get 18 beers (3 rounds of 6) and have a tab of $20. That is absurd. I felt like the king of the castle.

• Stopping a big play before it happens – Kentucky fans, you have now placed yourself clearly into the BIGGEST DOUCHE OF THE SEC category. If you haven’t seen the video, I’m posting it below:

Can you really justify this? I know you are getting beat at home…to Louisville…in a supposed “rivalry” game…but come on. You are an awful team, with awful fans. HERP DERP NATION. I’m embarrassed that I am marrying someone who went to this school. (Editor’s disclaimer: I’m a Gamecocks fan who is potentially still bitter about the ass-whipping we received in Lexington last year)

• Alabama Talk Radio …even better after a loss – Oh Boy. We all knew this was coming. I’ve only been truly excited to make my 35 minute ride to work on a handful of days…but I was running to my car this morning. 94.5 WJOX out of Birmingham was OUTSTANDING talk radio. Auburn fans want to fire their defensive coordinator after dropping a game to Clemson…and giving up over 600 total yards in the process. Now, I’m not going to get into what this means to Clemson just yet…but needless to say it meant much more to Auburn losing the game. Fans are PISSED, and all I can say is that I have roughly 2 and a half hours before Paul Finebaum (Alabama translation: PAAAAAWWWLLL) gets going. I can only assume the hate will keep going. I kid you not; someone called in and just said, “Tom Petty has a song for Auburn that he just wrote. It seems appropriate. (Plays free falling from a computer, through the phone, on the air)”. Epic.

Dark Thoughts:

• The ACC makes bold moves, and ruins the Big East in Basketball – Can we all just agree that this addition does absolutely nothing positive for the ACC in football? Congrats everyone in the GA/SC/NC area… SYRACUSE AND PITTSBURG ARE LOVELY TEAMS AND CITIES TO VISIT. The other half obviously has to do with basketball, but come on man…is this the goal? Are you officially making the transition to saying “We are not a football conference, only basketball”? Great – this leave Virginia Teach, Florida State, and dare I say Clemson as the flag waivers of the conference. I hate this with a passion. HATE IT. What do you tell the other Big East basketball schools? What do you tell the conference? What about the Villanovas/Georgetowns/other non football schools?  

• Tailgating in a condo overlooking the stadium makes it tough to be outside with the common man – I’m not here to toot my own horn, or say that I have to have the nicest things in the world. Again, this is coming from someone whose family has tailgated in the SC Fairground for 28 years. HOWEVER, now that my youngest sister has been living in a condo overlooking the South Carolina football stadium, it makes it much more difficult to go back outside with the common man. Think about it…Do you want to cook? Go ahead. Would you want to sit down and relax on leather couches while watching the early games? Sure! Do you need to poop in a stable, air conditioned, and running water facility? OF COURSE! I hate that this is our last year with the place, but man…I feel sorry for those bums who have to be outside lugging coolers up and down the road. I’m a fancy man now…and must have one in the future.

• Domestic Disputes while on I-20 – The following is a true story that may have been one of the wildest things to see on the side of the interstate. About 7pm and 20 miles west of Atlanta, the soon to be Mrs. Boss and I were having a conversation about..I don’t know, how awesome Joker Philips is….when suddenly a white Tahoe slams on its brakes and gets in the emergency lane. A middle aged woman jumps out of the car when it comes to a stop, runs down the side of the road into the grass carrying her pocket book, and crying profusely. We would have stopped, but this was less than a half a mile from a big exit (where the Tahoe got off).Now, one can only assume that there was some incident that was severe enough in nature to cause this. And I’m not taking sides…but the only thing I could think of was the lady got a text from a lover and her husband/boyfriend read it.  I’m not saying I agree with these actions…but I understand.

• Putting in a luxury truck stop...or ANYTHING between Birmingham / Atlanta, Atlanta/Augusta, Augusta/Columbia – What are the odds we can make this happen? I’ve been on several long drives before…but these are just terrible pieces of interstate where nothing exists. I promise you, the fastest way to make a ton of money is to build something out at one of these locations. Make it a super stop with everything. There isn’t any excuse in the year 2011 that you have to go 35 miles between exits.

• Is Kentucky the new doormat of the SEC – Did anyone else feel that in the air about 10:30 or so on Saturday night? There was a changing of the guard in the SEC, and not many felt it. Kentucky is now the doormat of the SEC. They barely beat a Western Kentucky squad, played dead until the 4^th quarter against Directional Michigan, and got beat AT HOME against LOUISVILLE….who lost to Florida International. Vandy (their closest competition to worst) is 3-0 with wins over Uconn and now Ole Miss. Speaking of, some could place the Rebels here instead of the Wildcats. I don’t see that, as there is NO EXCUSE to lose to a Big East team at home…who lost the week prior to an International University in the United States.  

• Clemson could fall ass backwards into a great season if they win just one of the next 2 games – Here’s another terrifying thought. If Clemson wins just one of the two games against Florida State or Virginia Tech, they will likely win their division and play for the ACC title. This is what happens when you let an SEC poser such as Auburn go into Death Valley and think they are as good as advertised. Anyone with a pulse knew Auburn WAS NOT THAT GOOD.  (Just like Mississippi State IS NOT THAT GOOD) As long as Clemson doesn’t do anything stupid, they hold the keys. Remember kids, when you want to be good in the ACC, you have to be Wake Forest, NC State, Duke, North Carolina, and Boston College good.

-Gamblin Boss

YOUR WEEK 3 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS & STIMULUS PACKAGE

You want to make more money? SURE WE ALL DO!

So the economy is in the tank right now. You've downgraded from Crown Royal to Canadian Hunter. You’ve gone from Fat Tire, down to Sierra Nevada, down to Miller Lite…and now chugging 30 packs of Schlitz because that’s all you can afford. Now, I’m not here to say that I’m advocating something as “legal” as gambling…because this information is SOLELY for entertainment purposes. If you happen to bet the farm on something and it doesn’t work out…well…blame it on the refs/weather/fans/hungover players/coaches/ but just not me. I’m going to give you my best 5 picks of the week…do with it what you will. Good luck, God speed, and always remember that “scared money doesn’t make money!”.

Last Week: 2-1-2

Overall: 6-2-2 (60% winning)

Units +/-: +11

WEEK 3 RELEASES

Ohio State +3 (8 units LOCK OF THE MONTH)

Michigan State +5.5 (4 units)

Penn State -7 (3 units)

Stanford/Arizona over 55 (3units)

Ohio -4.0 (2 units)

ACC / A SHE SHE WEEK 3 PICKS THAT WILL LIKELY GO WRONG

Welcome to the third installment of The ACC's Public Indecency Scrum Scrimmage (or ACC PISS for short). Also, here's a reminder (above) at just how popular this league is! Look at the fans in blue supporting their team!  YAY ACC CHAMPIONSHIP! WE ARE A BCS CONFERENCE! Here's this weeks game picks that will hopefully go right. Hope you all have a lovely weekend...and stay tuned for my Picks against the spread coming later today. I really, really, really hope that all of you have the Garder-Webb / Wake Forest game tuned in tomorrow. It's going to be APOCALYPTIC!


Last Week - (8-1)  THANKS UVA! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! LYLAS! SUPER JOB!
Total - (16-2)

• Auburn @ Clemson 12:00 ABC – This is a tough game for me to even think about. I hate Auburn and Clemson, but you can’t measure how much hate is geared toward the other school from South Carolina. Auburn does not deserve to be 3-0, and nor do I want Clemson to be the first team to beat the defending national champions (whatever that means). I could do the cute thing and pick “TIGERS TO WIN!”, but I’d lose not only my credibility…but my dignity as well. SEC >>>>>>>ACC, and I don’t care where the game is played. Pick: Auburn

• West Virginia @ Maryland 12:00 ESPN – Ok Maryland, let’s see what you have. No, I’m serious.  I’ve shown you mine, now you show me yours. We do this every year about this time and I can’t get an opinion on you. Either you show up on Saturday and tell me who you really are, or I’m going to bring in Scooby Doo and the gang to get some answers. I can’t believe in you until I see something that proves me otherwise. Saturday is your opportunity. However, I still think you are still the same old Maryland, and gets to play in their own bowl game (See: Eagle Bank Bowl), or the tire bowl in Charlotte. Pick: West Virginia.

• Dook @ Boston College 12:30 ACC Network – Here’s a cool fact. The ACC network is not carried in Alabama. That’s awesome. Here is the PERFECT REASON WHY. Could anyone please tell me why in the hell this game is on the ACC Network? HERE’S OUR CHANCE TO SEE BOSTON CHESTNUT HILL IN THE FALL. I can’t pick this game accurately. Both teams could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Duke’s lost to Richmond and Stanford at home. BC has lost to Central Florida and Northwestern. I’ve got to take the home team simply because of my sandbox theory: “When a child is at a friend’s house and playing in their sandbox, the visiting child gets upset when they have to pick up and go home. The child who’s sandbox is being used is most happy”. Pick: Bahston Callage

• Kansas @ Georgia Tech 12:30pm RSN – What the hell is RSN? Anyway, look for Georgia Tech to take care of the Jayhawks. Maybe they could come play with the ACC. I really, really, have nothing to say about this game. Borefest. Pick: Georgia Tech

• Virginia @ UNC 3:30 ESPNU – At this point, it’s only week 3 and I am regretting assigning myself to the ACC for game capsules. I am trying to be objective…but come on man…really? There isn’t a damn thing to  say about this game. BUT YOU MAKE DOOK AND BOSTON COLLEGE SOUND FUNNY!!! I’m still learning that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. That, and it’s difficult to take any team seriously who’s home stadium is under 60,000 people. Pick: UNC

• Arkansas State @ Virginia Tech 4:00 RSN – Wow. Whatever cable company RSN is, they are getting their money’s worth Saturday. What a way to follow up Kansas and Georgia Tech! Hands down, this is easily the biggest redneck battle of the weekend. I’m just hoping that Radford has a home game as well…then the greater Blacksburg area will be the closest thing to Morgantown, WV that you’ll ever see in Virginia. The Hokies are still working out the kinks and will contend for the ACC title, but remember to win…you have to be good. Wake Forest/Dook/UVA good. Pick: Virginia Tech

• South Alabama @ NC State 6:00 ESPN3 – This just sounds like all kinds of fun. Do you think that this is what God dreams about if he/she was an ACC fan? I mean, does it get any better than hosting South Alabama in Raleigh? The ONLY thing that would make this better is if the Hurricanes had a home game, and the NC State Fair was in town. Pick: NCSU

• Gardner-Webb @ Wake Forest 6:30 ESPN3 – Well, speaking of God…here’s a matchup he/she defiantly plans on attending. It’s the Christian College against the Demon Deacons! Doesn’t this sound a little bit like the Apocalypse? I fully expect Wake to be led out of the tunnel by trumpets and 4 horses. (I promise you, one of these will occur) You heard it here first, evil defeats good - and the end of times is much closer after Saturday. Pick: Wake Forest

• Oklahoma @ Florida State  8:00 ESPN – As stated before, I’m going to be watching this game post Carolina/Navy…and with a FSU grad/soon to be bro in law. This will be a much better game than last year…but come on everyone. Think about this…long and hard. Why is there no more room on the bandwagon for fans of FSU? Why all the hype after a CFA bowl appearance and beating a team that was led by a hungover QB? I get it, you are a good team in the ACC that will contend. But I fully expect this to not even be close. Oklahoma is as advertised, and big game Bob Stoops is pretty decent in the season, on the road. (BUT NOT IN BOWL GAMES!) Pick: OOOOOOOklahoma where the wind blows sweeping down the Plains! OKLAHOMA – OK!

• Ohio State @ Miami 7:30 ESPN – What can you say about this game that hasn’t been said already? Tattoos? Cars? Money? Boats? Jet Ski’s? How about how terrible Miami is. If you had the pleasure of getting to watch their game at Maryland…you’ll see how bad it was. BUT GAMBLIN BOSS, WE DIDN’T HAVE OUR STAR QB! Tough shit! Harris is a piss poor excuse for a quarterback, BUT AGAIN, THIS IS ACC FOOTBALL WE’RE TALKING ABOUT! I know it’s a road game for OSU, and I know that it’s also a Big 10ish school….but Former Joe Robbie Stadium is not exactly a threatening place to play. OSU destroys Miami football faster than Donna Shalala’s handling of the Nevin Shapiro allegations. Pick: OSU   

 Stay Classy,
-Gamblin Boss