Week 3's Dark Drinks, Dark Horses, and Dark Thoughts (COLUMBIA, SC EDITION!) - What I learned on and off the field

Dark Drinks:

Saturday morning kicked off with a cold beer and Bojangles about 10:15am; which is pretty much the best base layer that you could ask for when you have a day of tailgating ahead of you. We had a very long day planned of football and cocktails, and of course walking around to shake hands and kiss babies of the friends and other fellow alumni that I had not seen since last year. (Or since the engagement of me and the soon to be Mrs. Boss) I love tailgating, and I love being around my family and friends. They make it easy to sit around and have a drink. The conversation is outstanding and smart ass jokes and Kentucky/Clemson bashing makes it even better. Let’s flash forward to game time, where I have perfected the art of taking booze into a game. Simply flatten a 16 ounce water bottle, fill, and screw the top back on while flattened. This makes for an excellent disposable flask. I will also mention that pops pulled a move that should be praised, in running to the luxury box to see friends and reload on mini bottles for the second half. It’s a good thing he did, because the 24-21 final of the Navy/SC game made it a necessity. Below I’ll mention about what we got into going out after the game, but something as small as finishing up the night at an old school hangout bar with $1.25 Natty Light bottles (NEW! READ BELOW!) and a sub from your favorite shop at 2AM, makes you one happy and nostalgic college kid all over again.

Dark Horses: 

• Vanderbilt – Alright everyone…I’m acknowledging the elephant in the room and talking about it. This is not your father’s Vanderbilt Fightin’ Commodores. After manhandling Houston Nutt’s team in Nashville Saturday, Vandy is now tied for first in the SEC East. I’m not saying that SC needs any more motivation than knowing what happened a few years ago in Columbia…(6-1, #6 in the Nation, and lost on the 20^th of October at HOME to VANDY) but get ready to see what this team really is about. On paper, it shouldn’t be close…but if by some chance that ‘Dores make it past the Gamecocks, they are in the driver’s seat for the SEC East. Think about that. The end could be, and likely is, near.

• The Triple Option – Now, keep in mind this is coming from a former offensive lineman who LOVED TO DO NOTHING MORE THAN RUN THE FOOTBALL BETWEEN THE TACKLES. With that said, I love the option. I love the option even more when it’s ran to perfection…and that is what Navy did. They don’t have the athletes, nor do they have the speed or talent of a high caliber SEC squad. But what they do have is a quirky offense that works. Think about the old Dan Patrick line, “You can’t stop them…you can only hope to contain them”. It works here too. There wasn’t any question that South Carolina didn’t have the best team on the field, as they CLEARLY moved the ball without issues. (Unless you throw a busted hitch/go route off of your back foot…Garcia) The Triple Option offense is a beautiful thing when it is ran to perfection, and your team isn’t on the other side of the ball. Navy almost proved…well did prove depending on who you ask…that their style of offense is the great equalizer in college football.

• LSU & Their Defense- LSU wouldn’t be a true dark horse, but good Lord their defense is good. Their front 7 is something that defensive coordinators fanaticize about. Eight of their players had a tackle for a loss. MSU was held to under 200 total yards of offense. 15 tackles for a loss, 4 of those being sacks. If you are any team in the SEC West, you have the right to be terrified of this team. Mark it down, LSU wins the West. If you line up and know your front 7 is better than their front seven…on EITHER side of the ball…you win.

• Beezer’s subs…still good even after you graduate – There are few things that you obviously can’t do once you graduate college on a college football weekend. However, making it a point to go to Beezers (803-771-7771) at 2AM after a long day of celebrating takes you back to your younger days on campus. Godfather, meat and cheese only, extra hot sauce, oil, vinegar. 

• Natty Light in Red Stripe Bottles – I’ve never been so happy, shocked, and all around impressed with a move to bottles like the fine folks at Anheuser-Busch have done. After crashing Uncle Louie’s for $1.25 bottles, I was handed what I thought was a Red Stripe beer. To my surprise, I turned the label to read NATURAL LIGHT. What is this? How is this possible? This by far was one of the biggest highlights of the weekend because it is a beautiful thing to crush crappy beer through a classy bottle. Also, it was refreshing to be able to get 18 beers (3 rounds of 6) and have a tab of $20. That is absurd. I felt like the king of the castle.

• Stopping a big play before it happens – Kentucky fans, you have now placed yourself clearly into the BIGGEST DOUCHE OF THE SEC category. If you haven’t seen the video, I’m posting it below:

Can you really justify this? I know you are getting beat at home…to Louisville…in a supposed “rivalry” game…but come on. You are an awful team, with awful fans. HERP DERP NATION. I’m embarrassed that I am marrying someone who went to this school. (Editor’s disclaimer: I’m a Gamecocks fan who is potentially still bitter about the ass-whipping we received in Lexington last year)

• Alabama Talk Radio …even better after a loss – Oh Boy. We all knew this was coming. I’ve only been truly excited to make my 35 minute ride to work on a handful of days…but I was running to my car this morning. 94.5 WJOX out of Birmingham was OUTSTANDING talk radio. Auburn fans want to fire their defensive coordinator after dropping a game to Clemson…and giving up over 600 total yards in the process. Now, I’m not going to get into what this means to Clemson just yet…but needless to say it meant much more to Auburn losing the game. Fans are PISSED, and all I can say is that I have roughly 2 and a half hours before Paul Finebaum (Alabama translation: PAAAAAWWWLLL) gets going. I can only assume the hate will keep going. I kid you not; someone called in and just said, “Tom Petty has a song for Auburn that he just wrote. It seems appropriate. (Plays free falling from a computer, through the phone, on the air)”. Epic.

Dark Thoughts:

• The ACC makes bold moves, and ruins the Big East in Basketball – Can we all just agree that this addition does absolutely nothing positive for the ACC in football? Congrats everyone in the GA/SC/NC area… SYRACUSE AND PITTSBURG ARE LOVELY TEAMS AND CITIES TO VISIT. The other half obviously has to do with basketball, but come on man…is this the goal? Are you officially making the transition to saying “We are not a football conference, only basketball”? Great – this leave Virginia Teach, Florida State, and dare I say Clemson as the flag waivers of the conference. I hate this with a passion. HATE IT. What do you tell the other Big East basketball schools? What do you tell the conference? What about the Villanovas/Georgetowns/other non football schools?  

• Tailgating in a condo overlooking the stadium makes it tough to be outside with the common man – I’m not here to toot my own horn, or say that I have to have the nicest things in the world. Again, this is coming from someone whose family has tailgated in the SC Fairground for 28 years. HOWEVER, now that my youngest sister has been living in a condo overlooking the South Carolina football stadium, it makes it much more difficult to go back outside with the common man. Think about it…Do you want to cook? Go ahead. Would you want to sit down and relax on leather couches while watching the early games? Sure! Do you need to poop in a stable, air conditioned, and running water facility? OF COURSE! I hate that this is our last year with the place, but man…I feel sorry for those bums who have to be outside lugging coolers up and down the road. I’m a fancy man now…and must have one in the future.

• Domestic Disputes while on I-20 – The following is a true story that may have been one of the wildest things to see on the side of the interstate. About 7pm and 20 miles west of Atlanta, the soon to be Mrs. Boss and I were having a conversation about..I don’t know, how awesome Joker Philips is….when suddenly a white Tahoe slams on its brakes and gets in the emergency lane. A middle aged woman jumps out of the car when it comes to a stop, runs down the side of the road into the grass carrying her pocket book, and crying profusely. We would have stopped, but this was less than a half a mile from a big exit (where the Tahoe got off).Now, one can only assume that there was some incident that was severe enough in nature to cause this. And I’m not taking sides…but the only thing I could think of was the lady got a text from a lover and her husband/boyfriend read it.  I’m not saying I agree with these actions…but I understand.

• Putting in a luxury truck stop...or ANYTHING between Birmingham / Atlanta, Atlanta/Augusta, Augusta/Columbia – What are the odds we can make this happen? I’ve been on several long drives before…but these are just terrible pieces of interstate where nothing exists. I promise you, the fastest way to make a ton of money is to build something out at one of these locations. Make it a super stop with everything. There isn’t any excuse in the year 2011 that you have to go 35 miles between exits.

• Is Kentucky the new doormat of the SEC – Did anyone else feel that in the air about 10:30 or so on Saturday night? There was a changing of the guard in the SEC, and not many felt it. Kentucky is now the doormat of the SEC. They barely beat a Western Kentucky squad, played dead until the 4^th quarter against Directional Michigan, and got beat AT HOME against LOUISVILLE….who lost to Florida International. Vandy (their closest competition to worst) is 3-0 with wins over Uconn and now Ole Miss. Speaking of, some could place the Rebels here instead of the Wildcats. I don’t see that, as there is NO EXCUSE to lose to a Big East team at home…who lost the week prior to an International University in the United States.  

• Clemson could fall ass backwards into a great season if they win just one of the next 2 games – Here’s another terrifying thought. If Clemson wins just one of the two games against Florida State or Virginia Tech, they will likely win their division and play for the ACC title. This is what happens when you let an SEC poser such as Auburn go into Death Valley and think they are as good as advertised. Anyone with a pulse knew Auburn WAS NOT THAT GOOD.  (Just like Mississippi State IS NOT THAT GOOD) As long as Clemson doesn’t do anything stupid, they hold the keys. Remember kids, when you want to be good in the ACC, you have to be Wake Forest, NC State, Duke, North Carolina, and Boston College good.

-Gamblin Boss

Week 3 SEC Picks!! (aaaand FIU and Army)

(See what I did there??)

Auburn @ The Other School in South Carolina:  Boy I hate everything about this game.  The generic nicknames, the stadium, the colors, the teams, everything.  This is what it must have been like for Jets fans 4 years ago when the Patriots and Giants played in the Super Bowl.  Just an absolute no win situation.  And they can't tie cause we all know ties are for sissys and communists.  Flat out, I just don't think Auburn is as good as advertised (for the record I don't think tOSiSC is as good as advertised but they might be slightly better) and I think it FINALLY catches up to them.  tOSiSC has all the tools to be an explosive offense and they could round into form this week.  OUR PICK:  tOSiSC will win the second generic nickname game of the week.  God it sucked to type that.

Ole Miss @ Vanderbilt:  This is the game Commissioner Mike Slive dreads every year.  It's like the wedding of relatives with whom you are only kinda close.  You have to go even though you don't want to.  You have to do the fake smile/hug/kiss thing.  You're standing there and there are so many awkward pauses in conversation.  You're wondering, 'This is family, not Frank from accounting, why do we only have boring elevator small talk to discuss??'  Even the relatives (Vandy and Ole Miss) know you don't want to be there, and the only reason you're there is cause your Mom (Mike Slive) made you go.  If you followed all that, then here it is.  OUR PICK:  Uncle Ned (Vandy) over Aunt Kathy (Ole Miss).  Mom (Slive) is gone by mid-2nd quarter (right after the first dance).

Coastal Carolina @ Georgia:  A lot of people think this is gonna be a cakewalk for Georgia.  But those people are underestimating one thing: Coastal has David Bennett as their coach....

Couldn't have said it better myself.  I'm not even sure what the original rant was about, I think golf maybe.  But who cares, I almost wanna pick Coastal just to see what he says next week.  OUR PICK:  I said almost wanna pick Coastal.  Come on now, Georgia wins it big.
Tennessee @ Florida:  I thought this was only a slightly big rivalry.  But according to one of the experts (don't know his name and never heard of him when they said it, evidently he was on the 1996 Florida National Title team) on something called "The New College Football Show," this is the best rivalry in all of college football.  He also said he would "fight anyone who says different."  I guess we're ignoring Ohio State/Michigan, Florida/Florida State (see that, it's not even Florida's biggest rivalry), Auburn/Alabama, Akron/Kent State.  Ok, maybe not that last one, but you get the point.  I guess this should be expected when the show is on Fox Sports regional and the other "expert" is former Tulane coaching great Tommy Bowden.  Anyway, this is a big game for both team.  UT could tell everyone they're further along than people think.  Florida could win a game that many think they shouldn't lose.  OUR PICK:  UPSET SPECIAL DOG!!!  Tennessee to shock the SEC world and take this from the Gators.  The Vols have a QB, two WO, a RB, and a very good offensive line.  They have enough to get it done and they will.
Navy @ South Carolina:  In 1984, the highly ranked Gamecocks won a big game and the next week had a road game against a supposedly inferior Naval Academy team.  The result?  Due to joe Morrison deciding to go up on a Thursday and do some sightseeing of the Smithsonian, Carolina pooped the bed. An upset victory, a season derailed and another year of heartbroken Carolina fans.  This ain't 1984 though baby.  Navy has my favorite offense in football, they run it to precision and it is almost impossible to prepare for in a week's time.  Howeva, this Gamecock team has superior talent, and, more importantly, better focus than the Midshipmen.  OUR PICK:  Gamecocks win it, move to 3-0.
Louisville @ Kentucky:  The 'Ville is coming off of a loss some are calling "embarrassing."  Ok, everyone is calling it embarrassing.  I mean I love Sun Belt football as much as the next guy, but you can't lose to FIU...at home, if you are a big kid football team.  Don't laugh too loud Big Blue Herp Derps.  That's only slightly worse than barely beating an over matched Western Kentucky on a neutral field, and following that up by letting the  Directional Michigan Chippewas hang around entirely too long.  Yeah you're 2-0, but even the tallest midget is making fun of you.  All kidding aside, these teams usually have a pretty good game and I think this year will be the same.  OUR PICK:  The 'Ville gets back on the horse (get it, cause it's in Kentucky??  If you don't get that email the Gamblin Boss, he will splain you).
Troy @ Arkansas:  I feel like I could write the same thing every week for Arkansas.  It will be some variation of "I don't think the Hogs are that good, but Petrino's offense is always legit.  The (insert whatever bad team is playing Arkansas) will be overwhelmed here."  So there you have it, the same thing again.  Don't get mad at me, get mad at the Razorbacks.  I will write something more when Arkansas actually freakin plays someone.  OUR PICK:  Arkansas...again.
North Texas @ Alabama:  This might actually have been a game in the early 2000's when former Dolphin great Patrick Cobbs was running the Mean Green to four straight Sun Belt titles and current Texas State coaching great Dennis Franchione was roaming the sidelines for the Tide.  Quick side note, remember how pissed Bama fans were when Coach Fran left for Texas A&M??  MAN they were livid haha.  The audacity of someone actually leaving Alabama to go to Texas A&M!!!  The horror!!!  Seems that the Aggies got the worst of that situation.  Oops, got sidetracked.  OUR PICK:  Roll Tide.
Sun Belt Conference Game of the Week Presented by Rold Gold Pretzels, Central Florida @ FIU:  Can FIU do it again?  I mean it's not a high and mighty Big East team (I use that term loosely) but I think this would still count as a big win for the Golden Panthers if they could beat the Golden Knights.  Editor's Note:  I feel like Al Golden should be involved in this game, just to complete the Florida, Golden trifecta.  Sadly, he is stuck at The U.  At any rate, this should actually be a pretty good game.  Mario Cristobal will have his FIU squad ready to play and compete.  TY Hilton probably won't go off as big as he did last week, but he is an NFL caliber player and should still show up big.  OUR PICK:  Golden Panthers over Golden Knights...with a side of Golden Crisps.
Service Academy Game of the Week Presented by WhoLovesABargain.blogspot.com, Northwestern @ Army:
I wanted to feature Air Force this week but they have a bye week (boy that sucks to have a week 3 bye...what's the point?  I mean Honestly you aren't even tired enough to need a bye in week 3...but I digress) so I went with the Black Knights of the Hudson River instead.  I really want Ellerson's boys to get a victory.  They played well enough to win last week and QB Trent Steelman is an underrated player (and one of the nation's better names.  Perfect name for a service academy player too) but I think Dan Persa and they boys from Evanston will be too much.  Hopefully Army can get it going against Ball State next week.  Although the Indiana Hoosiers say that's not as easy as it sounds.  OUR PICK:  Northwestern

YOUR WEEK 3 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS & STIMULUS PACKAGE

You want to make more money? SURE WE ALL DO!

So the economy is in the tank right now. You've downgraded from Crown Royal to Canadian Hunter. You’ve gone from Fat Tire, down to Sierra Nevada, down to Miller Lite…and now chugging 30 packs of Schlitz because that’s all you can afford. Now, I’m not here to say that I’m advocating something as “legal” as gambling…because this information is SOLELY for entertainment purposes. If you happen to bet the farm on something and it doesn’t work out…well…blame it on the refs/weather/fans/hungover players/coaches/ but just not me. I’m going to give you my best 5 picks of the week…do with it what you will. Good luck, God speed, and always remember that “scared money doesn’t make money!”.

Last Week: 2-1-2

Overall: 6-2-2 (60% winning)

Units +/-: +11

WEEK 3 RELEASES

Ohio State +3 (8 units LOCK OF THE MONTH)

Michigan State +5.5 (4 units)

Penn State -7 (3 units)

Stanford/Arizona over 55 (3units)

Ohio -4.0 (2 units)

ACC / A SHE SHE WEEK 3 PICKS THAT WILL LIKELY GO WRONG

Welcome to the third installment of The ACC's Public Indecency Scrum Scrimmage (or ACC PISS for short). Also, here's a reminder (above) at just how popular this league is! Look at the fans in blue supporting their team!  YAY ACC CHAMPIONSHIP! WE ARE A BCS CONFERENCE! Here's this weeks game picks that will hopefully go right. Hope you all have a lovely weekend...and stay tuned for my Picks against the spread coming later today. I really, really, really hope that all of you have the Garder-Webb / Wake Forest game tuned in tomorrow. It's going to be APOCALYPTIC!


Last Week - (8-1)  THANKS UVA! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! LYLAS! SUPER JOB!
Total - (16-2)

• Auburn @ Clemson 12:00 ABC – This is a tough game for me to even think about. I hate Auburn and Clemson, but you can’t measure how much hate is geared toward the other school from South Carolina. Auburn does not deserve to be 3-0, and nor do I want Clemson to be the first team to beat the defending national champions (whatever that means). I could do the cute thing and pick “TIGERS TO WIN!”, but I’d lose not only my credibility…but my dignity as well. SEC >>>>>>>ACC, and I don’t care where the game is played. Pick: Auburn

• West Virginia @ Maryland 12:00 ESPN – Ok Maryland, let’s see what you have. No, I’m serious.  I’ve shown you mine, now you show me yours. We do this every year about this time and I can’t get an opinion on you. Either you show up on Saturday and tell me who you really are, or I’m going to bring in Scooby Doo and the gang to get some answers. I can’t believe in you until I see something that proves me otherwise. Saturday is your opportunity. However, I still think you are still the same old Maryland, and gets to play in their own bowl game (See: Eagle Bank Bowl), or the tire bowl in Charlotte. Pick: West Virginia.

• Dook @ Boston College 12:30 ACC Network – Here’s a cool fact. The ACC network is not carried in Alabama. That’s awesome. Here is the PERFECT REASON WHY. Could anyone please tell me why in the hell this game is on the ACC Network? HERE’S OUR CHANCE TO SEE BOSTON CHESTNUT HILL IN THE FALL. I can’t pick this game accurately. Both teams could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Duke’s lost to Richmond and Stanford at home. BC has lost to Central Florida and Northwestern. I’ve got to take the home team simply because of my sandbox theory: “When a child is at a friend’s house and playing in their sandbox, the visiting child gets upset when they have to pick up and go home. The child who’s sandbox is being used is most happy”. Pick: Bahston Callage

• Kansas @ Georgia Tech 12:30pm RSN – What the hell is RSN? Anyway, look for Georgia Tech to take care of the Jayhawks. Maybe they could come play with the ACC. I really, really, have nothing to say about this game. Borefest. Pick: Georgia Tech

• Virginia @ UNC 3:30 ESPNU – At this point, it’s only week 3 and I am regretting assigning myself to the ACC for game capsules. I am trying to be objective…but come on man…really? There isn’t a damn thing to  say about this game. BUT YOU MAKE DOOK AND BOSTON COLLEGE SOUND FUNNY!!! I’m still learning that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. That, and it’s difficult to take any team seriously who’s home stadium is under 60,000 people. Pick: UNC

• Arkansas State @ Virginia Tech 4:00 RSN – Wow. Whatever cable company RSN is, they are getting their money’s worth Saturday. What a way to follow up Kansas and Georgia Tech! Hands down, this is easily the biggest redneck battle of the weekend. I’m just hoping that Radford has a home game as well…then the greater Blacksburg area will be the closest thing to Morgantown, WV that you’ll ever see in Virginia. The Hokies are still working out the kinks and will contend for the ACC title, but remember to win…you have to be good. Wake Forest/Dook/UVA good. Pick: Virginia Tech

• South Alabama @ NC State 6:00 ESPN3 – This just sounds like all kinds of fun. Do you think that this is what God dreams about if he/she was an ACC fan? I mean, does it get any better than hosting South Alabama in Raleigh? The ONLY thing that would make this better is if the Hurricanes had a home game, and the NC State Fair was in town. Pick: NCSU

• Gardner-Webb @ Wake Forest 6:30 ESPN3 – Well, speaking of God…here’s a matchup he/she defiantly plans on attending. It’s the Christian College against the Demon Deacons! Doesn’t this sound a little bit like the Apocalypse? I fully expect Wake to be led out of the tunnel by trumpets and 4 horses. (I promise you, one of these will occur) You heard it here first, evil defeats good - and the end of times is much closer after Saturday. Pick: Wake Forest

• Oklahoma @ Florida State  8:00 ESPN – As stated before, I’m going to be watching this game post Carolina/Navy…and with a FSU grad/soon to be bro in law. This will be a much better game than last year…but come on everyone. Think about this…long and hard. Why is there no more room on the bandwagon for fans of FSU? Why all the hype after a CFA bowl appearance and beating a team that was led by a hungover QB? I get it, you are a good team in the ACC that will contend. But I fully expect this to not even be close. Oklahoma is as advertised, and big game Bob Stoops is pretty decent in the season, on the road. (BUT NOT IN BOWL GAMES!) Pick: OOOOOOOklahoma where the wind blows sweeping down the Plains! OKLAHOMA – OK!

• Ohio State @ Miami 7:30 ESPN – What can you say about this game that hasn’t been said already? Tattoos? Cars? Money? Boats? Jet Ski’s? How about how terrible Miami is. If you had the pleasure of getting to watch their game at Maryland…you’ll see how bad it was. BUT GAMBLIN BOSS, WE DIDN’T HAVE OUR STAR QB! Tough shit! Harris is a piss poor excuse for a quarterback, BUT AGAIN, THIS IS ACC FOOTBALL WE’RE TALKING ABOUT! I know it’s a road game for OSU, and I know that it’s also a Big 10ish school….but Former Joe Robbie Stadium is not exactly a threatening place to play. OSU destroys Miami football faster than Donna Shalala’s handling of the Nevin Shapiro allegations. Pick: OSU   

 Stay Classy,
-Gamblin Boss 

WEEK 3 GAMES THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO MISS!

Week 2 was hell on wheels wasn't it? That whole Michigan/Notre game was enough to take me off of this planet...but it was only the nightcap on an all day football orgy. MSU/Auburn was a barnburner (get it?) at 12:30, SC/UGA lit up the scoreboard in Athens at 3:30, and...well...Michigan/ND was as stated above. The games are more average than good this week, but don't let that stop you from tuning into the many options that you have below. I can't express how awesome this time of the year it. It's cooling off, humidity is lowering, and football is ON! Screw the NFL...College Football is what you should be living for.Here's your guide to week 3's games on TV that you can't afford to miss!

-Gamblin Boss

5 MONEY STACKS - YOU CAN'T PAY ME ENOUGH TO MISS THESE GAMES!

Oklahoma @ Florida State – 8:00pm ABC: It’s week 3 and we’re finally going to have a chance for a #1 team to legitimately get beat! Chaos theory fans are pulling for FSU. Traditionalists are pulling for OU. I can’t buy stock in any ACC team, especially this early in the season…regardless if they are coming off of a big win against a will-not-be-named SEC school in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl. If this was week 7 or 8, and I knew what FSU was about, then I’d take them. (Keep in mind this is a team that can’t beat Clemson on a regular occurrence…at home) Always test drive a car before you buy it, and OU is a little more proven past and present than FSU.  Look for this to be a hell of a game, and I hope so simply because I’ll be sharing the TV with a FSU grad/sister’s fiancée/soon to be bro in law. Easily 5 out of 5.

4 MONEY STACKS - PRICED ABOVE FACE VALUE

Auburn @ Clemson – 12:00pm ABC: This game again will define a season. Both teams are very young on both sides of the ball, and are looking for leadership. No doubt this will be a game of finesse and working with what’s given. Don’t expect this to be a pound it out on the ground, 3 yards and a cloud of dust offensive struggle. Who wins? I’ll get into that tomorrow. But, this is a must watch simply because of the implications for the losing team. This would be a 5 stacks game, but it’s tough to put anything Clemson related ranked that high.

Tennessee @ Florida – 3:30pm CBS: 7 years. Think about that. Where were you 7 years ago? That’s how long it has been since Tennessee has beat Florida. This is the first real test for both players and coaching staffs alone. Muschamp’s first big SEC game is luckily at home, which could give him the edge that’s needed to win. However, Tyler Bray looks to be the passer Tennessee fans have been waiting on…and is a legit threat as a pocket passer. I expect a close one in Gainesville…along with all the orange and jean shorts you can handle.

Ohio State @ Miami (FL) – 7:30pm ESPN: INSERT GENERIC “CHEATING/SCANDAL/ILLIEGAL/IMPROPER BENEFITS BOWL” COMMENT! WINNERS GET TO TAKE A RIDE ON JET SKI’S AND CRASH INTO BOOSTER’S boats  YACHTS! LOSER GETS FREE TATTOOS OF WINNING COACH! I can’t stand Miami. I can’t stand Ohio State. I promise you 92% of America hates Miami more. To be honest, you have to watch this game just to see where these programs are headed. OSU should roll, but I’ve seen stranger things happen.

3 MONEY STACKS - YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR / PAY FOR WHAT YOU GET

West Virginia at Maryland – 12:00pm ESPN+: First off, this game is on ESPN+. Where in the heck does this exist? WVU had a tough half of football last week against Norfolk State before turning on the afterburners…and we all know what Maryland did to Miami 2 weeks ago. (Both in jersey style and on the scoreboard)  Who knew Chevy Chase Field would become one of the toughest places to play in the ACC? Let’s just blame this rejuvenation on the Redskins…BECAUSE FOOTBALL IS BACK IN MARYLAND BABY! (Insert CRABCAKES AND FOOTBALL…THAT’S WHAT MARYLAND DOES!!) This game is just there…so watch it. Nothing like Mimosas and Bloodys to a great Big East/ACC matchup!

Michigan State @ Notre Dame – 3:30pm NBC: Notre Dame is getting desperate. To borrow a line from a co-writer on this blog, “Brian Kelley has taken more lives than wins this year”. Intense! If I can’t get excited about this game, I assure you many in South Bend are having the same problem. If Michigan State rolls in and takes a win…look for Kelly’s face to explode in a sea of purple. ND is NOT a terrible team…but when they lost they way they did last year, it’s hard to recover fully and move on. Also, is NBC regretting their 1,000 year contract with the Irish yet?

Navy @ South Carolina – 6:00pm ESPN2 : When you mention “Navy” around older South Carolina fans, you’ll get the same expression that the Titanic’s master ship builder gave when he found out it sank to the bottom of the ocean on its maiden voyage. (A little history – South Carolina could have been #1 in the country for the first time ever in 1984, but decided to shit the bed against Navy – whom they were heavily favorite against – and fall into a sea of mediocrity). This game scares me because of the option and ground game of the Midshipmen. Look for this to be a pretty close game, and unfortunately for SC fans….too interesting.

2 MONEY STACKS - I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING RIPPED OFF

Virginia @ UNC – 3:30pm ESPNU : The only thing that is more interesting than two stuck up snob schools playing each other…is the fact that both of these teams have now made it on my “what to watch” post for 3 straight weeks. UNC and UVA squeaked out wins last week…against Rutgers and Indiana. Again, the ACC Egg Toss of the Week will commence at 3:30pm, and luckily ESPNU will be there to cover it for the entire nation to see. “CARUTHERS, BRING FORTH MY 2008 CABERNET! MORE BRIE AND GRAPES FOR THE LADIES!”

Louisville @ Kentucky – 7:00pm ESPNU : Charlie Strong….please…pretty please….promise me that you can defeat Kentucky and prove to everyone that you made the right decision to leave the SEC. (formally of SC and FL lore) These two teams are just an abomination, but I’ll let Louisville slide because they are in the Big East. Kentucky’s only excuse is the fact their QB leads the nation in falls during a 5 step drop. This will no doubt be a terrible game, but the fact it is a rivalry (allegedly) gives it a bump.

1 MONEY STACK - CAN I GET A REFUND?

Central Michigan @ Western Michigan – 12:00pm ESPN+: This is, without a doubt, the biggest game of the year in Michigan. IT’S THE DIRECTIONAL MICHIGAN BOWL! And they are so lucky that ESPN put it on their best network, ESPN+! The plus means that it’s totally badass. There is no reason at all to even watch this game. None…nada…zip. I wouldn’t even if I had money on it….but that’s another problem if you are betting on Directional Michigan vs. Directional Michigan.

SE Missouri State @ Purdue – 12:00pm Big Ten Network: You know something, it’s great that the Big 10 cares so much that they focus on the little guy(s) and can show this game at 12:00pm. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be sitting in West Lafayette, IN at 11:00AM with Mid-Westerners? I expect about 45,000 people at the game, and about the same watching from home. 

Dook @ Boston College – 12:30pm ACC Network: This just screams awful. I’m talking borderline walking in on a fresh murder scene awful. Duke is 0-2 with losses to RICHMOND and Stanford. Boston College is 0-2 with losses to Northwestern and a blowout by Central Florida. Go ahead and resign your life to following terrible football teams if this is your first choice Saturday afternoon. I still can’t figure out which is worse…a track around your college football field (Dook) or selling game tickets on Groupon (Boston College).