ACC WEEK 8 (DAMN IT'S WEEK 8 ALREADY) PICKS! HORRIBLE CARNAGE AND TRAINWRECKS INSIDE!

YAYYY! ITS TDIME FO DA A C C PIX OFFTH DA WEEK!! (insert monster noises/grunts/all around sounds of displeasure)

North Carolina @ Clemson
Clemson, S.C.
12:00 PM TV: ESPN  

• First and foremost…this write-up is coming from a Carolina fan on a bye week, whom still has a bad taste in his mouth from the Derp that was the Terps this past Saturday night. You are up 18, at home, to a Clemson team that you can beat. Could you tackle? Maybe double a few WR’s? GOOD GOD. I’m still on the fence about the Tigers, but the more I watch I am starting to think they have plenty of raw talent and catching back up to the Gamecocks talent wise. Boyd seems to be doing better than what was expected at QB, so I can’t say anything other than he’s exceeded expectations. UNC has been an up and down team from what I have gathered. Hell, they couldn’t even beat a Louisville team in Chapel Hill by more than 10. That’s LOUISVILLE. It seems that Clemson is just waiting for someone to beat them, and the Tar Holes have a little bit of confidence. I’m hoping that they can be the team that brings the “Mighty Tiiiiigs” back down to earth because we all know there is only one thing worse than an undefeated Clemson team…and that’s full blown AIDS.  Pick: Clemson (but take UNC and the points)

Wake Forest @ Duke
Durham, N.C.
12:30 PM TV: ACC Network

• DON’T SLEEP ON THE DEAMON DEACONS! Just ask Florida State…who thought it would be easy to stroll into Winston-Salem and take a win. Fortunately for everyone keeping score at home, we won’t have to worry about that as Dook has the honor of taking the bus ride down I-85/40. (See what I did there? KEEPING IT LOCAL PEOPLE!) There is not a single part of this game that says “WATCH ME”, but I’m sure I’ll have to just check in to see who shits the bed first. Pick: Wake

Boston College @ Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Va.
3:00 PM TV: RSN

• God, please…just make it stop. I can’t justify this Boston College team. Pick: Virginia Tech

NC State @ Virginia
Charlottesville, Va.
3:30 PM TV: ESPNU

• All those who had Virginia beating Georgia Tech last week please step forward. DON’T YOU DARE WALK FORWARD BECAUSE YOU LIE. What a week it was for those in HooTown, USA. There weren’t enough Clorox bleach pens in Charlottesville to get all the red wine stains out of everyone’s clothes after the post-game celebration. WINE AND CHEESE FOR EVERYONE! EVEN YOU TINY TIM! NC State on the other hand has really been kicking themselves in the ass this year…well wait…TOM O’LEARY has been kicking his self in the ass this year. Was it really a good idea to tell Russell Wilson “Hey, either its all football or you are out”? Yea, brilliant there chief. Don’t look for this to be another W for the Wahoos…but at this point, who really cares? Pick: NC State

Maryland @ Florida State
Tallahassee, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ABC/ESPN2

• All those in favor of just acting like Florida State wasn’t preseason top 10 say AYE. (Resounding cheer from the northern Florida area) I know, you’ve had your injuries…and you played some tough teams…(Clemson…Wake?) but what’s happened is inexcusable. Is it too late to resurrect Bobby Bowden? Maryland…I’m shaking my head at you. What in the hell did you do last week? The ONE chance you had to remain relevant in the ACC was blown. You even brought out some more super cool uniforms! Chevy Chase Field was packed at 48,000 people going crazy! (Insert laugh about stadium size/penis size) At this point, I’d just pack it in and quit your football program and concentrate on getting Gary Williams back because you couldn’t even do the one thing that most teams can handle: WIN after having an 18 point lead in the second half.

Georgia Tech @ Miami

Miami Gardens, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ESPN

• Did they really think that by adding “Gardens” to Miami Gardens was going to spruce the place up a little? It’s still dumpy Miami and Joe Robbie Stadium if you ask me. The bet within the bet for this game will be total attendance…over/under 32,100. My heart says over, but brain says under. Georgia Teach decided to derp it up last week apparently because they were tired of being undefeated. Who knew that it was such a tough chore? Miami is easy the biggest enigma in the ACC because you never know what team will take the field. From hence forth, Miami will be called The Forrest Gump Box Of Chocolates (or TFGBOC for short) for obvious reasons. All I need is someone to Photoshop Randy Shannon’s face on Sally Field’s body to play the mom, and Nevin Shapiro to play Lt. Dan. Pick: Georgia Tech

ACC WEEKLY EGG TOSS PICKS WITH SISTER HAZEL!

(Click play…and start reading!)

This week, I am offering up a unique way to help bring the ACC weekly egg toss picks closer to home, with more emotion. I give you the best thing to come out of Gainesville other than Steve Spurrier and Muschamp's STARE OF DEATH… I give you SISTER HAZEL!

 “I miss you -I miss being overwhelmed by you. And I need rescue -I think I'm fading away. But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear - I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room…”

• I’m 110% positive that this has to do with the ACC’s lusting desires for Miami in 2005. Why else would you want Larry Coker and his 2001 National Title to come whisper in your ear while laying in bed? We all know that Virginia Tech isn’t going to get it done this year either…so look for this game to be miserable to watch. Nothing like 2 overhyped teams playing in a county with more meth labs per capita than any other in VA! Pick: VT

“So I wait and I wait…and I run old scenes through my tired head- Of the days we laid by the school and said forever…Was that the best I'll ever be?”

• See… here’s the part where everybody starts to question if FSU in 1999 and Miami in 2001 will be the best the ACC will ever be. I’d have to say with yes…that is the best you will be Championship wise. However...UNC and Louisville play this week, and I’ve got to say…The Cardinals are likely asking themselves the same question after winning the Orange Bowl in 2007. This game is a tough one, but I’ll have to give the nudge to UNC at home. BUT, TAKE THE POINTS AND LOUISVILLE! Pick: UNC

“I miss you. I miss talking all night long with you, and I need this to find a way to your home. My love can you hear me? Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough? Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone – alone?”

• OK…outside of being overtly creepy and stalkerish…this isn’t a bad question for John Swofford to be asking Bobby Bowden. Let’s be honest here for a second…Bobby Bowden was the ACC and was the main driving force in the conference for 2 decades. Close your eyes and imagine a grown ass man weeping into a phone saying “Bobby, come back! I need you!” Good thing for FSU, they play Wake Forest this weekend and they will not need any help beating the Daemon Deacons. Although, EJ Manuel is back for the Seminoles, so no more sleeping all alone on the sidelines! Pick: FSU

“So I wait and I wait, and I run myself in the same old circles. I sit and I stare, and I run old scenes through my tired head of the days that we laid by the school and said forever….Was that the best I'll ever be?”

• NC State fans, but I’m sorry. Your football team will never be anything, but you had the chance before your head coach told Russell Wilson that he couldn’t play 2 sports. Yea, that didn’t hurt you at all did it? I mean, it’s not like Wisconsin is good this year or anything…right? Speaking of running in the same old circles, do you think a directional Michigan school ever gets lost…or just “runs around in circles”? Either way, look for more of the same from those types of schools this week. Pick: NCSU

“Can't keep my hands from shaking….Stumbling through the wreckage again….But you're gone”

• Dude, I can’t think of a better analogy for Maryland than this. Remember, you beat Miami with some hellacious uniforms! Sadly, since you can’t throw, catch, or run the ball from you shaking so much because you got just a little bit of attention, you drop one at home to TEMPLE! I’m pretty sure that the Terps will be stumbling through the Georgia Tech Ramblin’ Wreckage again. (See what I did there?) Pick: Georgia Tech          

“So I wait and I wait, and I run myself in the same old circles. And I sit and I stare…And I run old scenes through my tired head. Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever…Was that the best I'll ever be…Was that the best I'll ever be….Was that the best I'll ever be?”

• Everyone…unless you are reading via cell phone… close your eyes and think about this. Don’t you see Danny Ford and Dabo Swinney skipping down The Hill after rubbing Howard’s rock? All of a sudden, both of them lying on their backs talking about the alleged 1981 National Title while picking flowers and caressing each other’s face? Clemson fans have to be asking right about now if that was the best they will ever be. Quite frankly, they are going to fall ass backwards into an 8-9 win season…or greater if they don’t F it up. It kills me to say this, but I think Clemson destroys Boston College because they will never, ever, be the best at anything football related. If they lose, it’s only because Dabo is daydreaming about forever with Danny Ford. Pick: Clemson.

-Gamblin Boss

A SHE SHE / ACC PICKS THAT ARE SURE TO BE AS BAD AS THEIR CONFERENCE

Ok, I'll be honest...I haven't had the time I wish I had to dedicate to the blog over the past week to week and a half. We're moving stuff around at work, odd hours, and we've picked up in business.

It's not an excuse...it's just tough trying to sneak in an hour of putting picks together for your blog and get work done at the same time. Also, it's the ACC...so I can't really get excited to dedicate time, ya know?

With that said, HERE WE GO!

Duke @ FIU - I hate Dook. I mean, this is a pathetic game. You thought last week was bad...gee golly whiz it's going to be hell on earth for anyone watching this game. Over/under on attendance.... 8,293. This may have just as many TV viewers. I'm taking the home team here...simply because you don't have to be good in the ACC...you have to be DOOK GOOD. Pick: FIU

UNC @ ECU - Well, well, well...it looks like Western Carolina got left out of the "get to know your other non-relevant directional schools in NC week". This one will be a squeaker, and it could go either way. ECU has an explosive offense, and UNC on defense..is well...UNC on defense. Pick: ECU

Bethune Cookman @ Miami - This can't be real, can it? Are we being serious? Get your act together ACC and try to play at least someone relevant for out of conference tune ups...but my Lord this is setting a new standard. I'm sure the joke here is "how much did Miami pay these guys"....so I'll leave that to your imagination. Pick: Miami

Clemson @ Virginia Tech - For the love of God and all that is holy...please Virginia Tech, show up and destroy Clemson on Saturday. We all know they are not that good of a team...and you are the last line of defense against a great season for them. Please don't let them have to go through the gauntlet of UNC, NCSU, Dook, Maryland, (insert all other ACC schools here). Pick: Virginia Tech

Georgia Tech @ NC State - So outside of the state fair gearing up in a few weeks, look for this game to provide about the only excitement to the triad area for some time. Georgia Tech looks like they are the kind of team that would win the ACC again and have to give up the title due to NCAA allegations...but we'll just have to see. I'll be upset if the Yellow Jackets don't SWARM all over the Wolfpack. (yea, I went there) Pick: Ga Tech

Idaho @ Virginia - Wow, what do you think the kids getting off their flight at Charlottesville Regional will have to say about this game? It's got to be a vacation, I mean hell...any one will tell you that "Charlottesville is quite lovely in the fall". I don't see this as being an entertaining game at all...and I promise you that some jackass has already tried to tie in a Vandals/Rich People/Not in my neighborhood referance....so I'll just let it slide. By the way... DID YOU SEE WHAT SO MISS DID TO THE HOO'S LAST WEEK? That's right...I called that.
Pick: UVA

Towson @ Maryland - So I'm assuming this was another great team to play that doesn't really count as a road trip. Again, way to go Maryland...let's schedule someone awesome like...TOWSON. Also, way to poop the bed last week against Temple. Normal teams would have crapped themselves, got up, took a shower, and cleaned off. You however....decided to make it a point after defecating to roll around in it like you had flames coming off of you. What a Terrpible (see what I did there) school, what a terrpible conference. Pick: Maryland

Wake Forest @ Boston College: Easily the showcase game of the weekend. The flying high Eagles are coming off of a big win against UMass (don't make fun of the kid eating glue...let them have their moment) to host the Demon Deacons. I don't really care for either one of these teams, but I'll have to give it to the home team. After all, Bahston has to have something to follow this time of the year sports wise. (oooohhhh take that RED SAWKS!) Pick: Bahston College

-Gamblin Boss

YOUR WEEK 4 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICKS & STIMULUS PACKAGE!

You want to make more money? SURE WE ALL DO!

So the economy is in the tank right now. You've downgraded from Crown Royal to Canadian Hunter. You’ve gone from Fat Tire, down to Sierra Nevada, down to Miller Lite…and now chugging 30 packs of Schlitz because that’s all you can afford. Now, I’m not here to say that I’m advocating something as “legal” as gambling…because this information is SOLELY for entertainment purposes. If you happen to bet the farm on something and it doesn’t work out…well…blame it on the refs/weather/fans/hungover players/coaches/ but just not me. I’m going to give you my best 5 picks of the week…do with it what you will. Good luck, God speed, and always remember that “scared money doesn’t make money!”.

Someone pooped the bed and rolled around in it last week. That was me. It was an awful week. 1-4, down 16 units…and below 50% in winners. Let’s hope this week is better!

Last Week: 1-4

Overall: 7-6-2 (46% winning)

Units +/-: -5

WEEK 4 RELEASES

LSU -6 (4 units)

Vandy +15.5 (3 units)

ND -7 (3 units)

Auburn/Florida Atlantic UNDER 58 (2 units)

Florida State +3 (2 units)


GL,
-Gamblin Boss

ACC / A SHE SHE WEEK 4 PICKS THAT WILL LIKELY GO WRONG!

Did anyone else catch what was going on last night in Cincinnati? I’ll give you a hint. An ass-whipping commenced, in which the Bearcats (BIG EAST PRIDE!) took down the Wolfpack of North Carolina State. By far, ESPN had nothing else to show…and when you throw in the likes of Craig James and Jesse Palmer in the booth, you find yourself shoving anything in your eyes and ears to make it stop. What else are you going to watch? 2 hours of Grey’s Anatomy?

ON TO THE PICKS! 

(Also, click on the video and let the music play while reading, because it just sets the mood for ACC footbawwww!)

Temple @ Maryland : The mighty Terps are hosting another home game in which they will be wearing more ridiculous uniforms. Temple pooped all over my pick last week, and kept it close with Penn State. Again, Maryland…I don’t know what to make of you. This game is a true 50/50 split. I won’t be surprised if the Owls come into College Park and take one, but I think the home team wins it here. Pick: Maryland

Southern Miss @ UVA: Caruthers better strap himself in and try to smuggle in a bag of their finest Franzia to sit through this one. The Fightin’ Brett Favres are something to be reckoned with, and I strongly feel that this could be a win (upset) over the ‘Hoos. This will be another game in which the ACC fails to shine against a weaker opponent. I’ll give the nod to Southern Miss here. Pick: SoMiss

Virginia Tech @ Marshall : OK VIRGINIA TECH, WE GET IT ALREADY. YOUR SEASON DOESN’T START UNTIL WEEK 5! Unreal. Frank Beamer must be spooning John Swofford on the regular to get a cakewalk of a schedule. Look out Mrs. B! It’s going to be a doozy this weekend. Aunt Bea did more for pickles on the Andy Griffith show than what this schedule is doing for Virginia Tech. At least pickles fill you up…compared to the emptiness that you feel inside after playing Marshall. Pick: Virginia Tech

Florida State @ Clemson: OOOOHHHH WEEE! WE GOT US A TOP 25 MATCHUP HERE BOYS! (Note that this is the ONLY top 25 matchup that the ACC has this week…let that sink in….) This is no longer the Bowden bowl, which has taken some of the luster off of this game. Florida State is banged up, and Clemson is coming off of a big (?) win against a train wreck of an Auburn team. It’s a typical Vegas trap game with the huge line swings. FSU has a great defense, and it’s proven that they could crap out turds better than Auburn. Pick: FSU

Kansas State @ Miami: Miami last week took Ohio State to the woodshed, and I don’t know where they got it from. I look at this as two average teams from two average conferences…and one coming off of a big win at home last week. Miami can’t seem to get going, with a loss to Maryland, but defeating Ohio State? My head says Miami runs away, but I think K State keeps it close. Pick: Miami

UNC @ Georgia Tech: Georgia Tech put up video game numbers last week against Kansas, and look for more of the same this week. While there won’t be over 600 yards rushing, I see a big day for the Ramblin’ Wreck. I can’t buy into any team that barely wins at home (UNC), so combine that with being on the road…Pick: Georgia Tech

Tulane @ Dook:  WHY LORD, HAVE THOU FORSAKEN ME? WHY IS THERE SUCH A HORRIBLE MATCHUP? Who in their right mind says, “You know what? Let’s take the family and head up to Durham for some great, classic, and intense college football action.” C’MON HONEY! THE BLUE DEVILS ARE PLAYING TULANE! I HOPE THEY HAVE A JAZZ BAND! Somewhere, Dan Beebe is saying “I can maybe, somehow, run the intramural programs at one of these schools. It’s got to be more competitive than this”. Pick: Tulane (Because in the ACC, you don’t have to be good….you have to be DOOK GOOD)

And finally…. (stop the music above)

UMass @ Boston College: (taking a page from Van Pelt) Hey Towmmy, listen here. Finally, we get a football game to determine who is the most Massachusetts  team in dah whorld! Who needs DA SOX RITE NOW? WHO NEEDS DA PATS? We have a football game with the most wicked hawdcore mascots of all time. First, we got da Minutemen. LISTEN TO ME TOWMMY. LISTEN. What is more American and patriotic than being a Minuteman? NOTHIN! Except for the bloody dahmn sock from Curt Schilling and his performance where he gave his life on the mound for DA SOX…BUT THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT!!!!!!  DAH UMASS MILITIA MINUTEMEN WIN

Ok Sal, shut up just for one minute here while I ask ya a question. What the F is on top of an American flag? What the F do you see as our national bird? WHAT DID THOSE BADASSES AT NASA DECIDE TO CALL THE SPACESHIP THING THAT LANDED ON THE F*CKING MOON? THE EAGLE. EAGLE! IF IT WASN’T FOR AN EAGLE, NEIL I’M-GOING-TO-STROLL-ON-THA-MOON-ARMSTRONG WOULDN’T EXIST! Tha only Minuteman that ever wins is when you are in bed with that lady you call your live in girlfriend Tiffany and she gets bad because you can’t last longer than a minute in bed. HIIII YOOOOOO!!!!!  Listen here Sal, I know we had out troubles against the mighty Wildkittens from Northwestern, and got blownout by those KNIGHTS in Flahrida….BUT MAHRK MHY WHURDS…WE TAKE ONE FROM THAT TRASH FROM AMHURST!

Pick: Bashtun College  

-Gamblin Boss

Conference Realignment & How the PAC-12 Saved the Day

 This has been the most upside down week in college football due to realignment talks. Everyone has been living in fear due to what may happen, in which our beloved conferences are/were on the brink of turning into 16 team Super Conferences.  I’ve had many discussions with people who firmly believe that we are on the brink of Armageddon in College Football. In light of this past week’s events I’d like to believe that we have stepped it back from DEFCON 2 to DEFCON 3. Below I’d like to take you on a journey…and finish up with why the PAC-12 saved the day.

ACC:

Well, I’ve got to just go ahead and get this out there…Everyone be afraid. John Swofford has really done it this time by creating one of the strongest football conferences ever assembled by adding Syracuse and Pittsburgh. Wait, what’s that Chancellor Nancy Cantor of Syracuse? This is all about Olympic sports? 

"I would say that our concerns are really forward looking with respect to the ACC. The issues for us is that we have increasingly strong Olympic sports across the board, women sports -- the ACC is a wonderful match for that for us. And we really are obviously very excited about that." 

I won’t go into the sheer comedic value of this statement, as Gene Wojciechowski covers this in his article on ESPN. What I will get into is just how awful of a move this is. What do you gain by adding either? If you wanted to be ballsy, go after West Virginia. That would have at least added SOME credibility to your conference quality wise. UGH – It’s hard enough already talking about how easy it is for the ACC on the gridiron, and how they get an automatic BCS game, I’ll never know. But again, it doesn’t help your case when you take 2 from a conference that has long had a question mark about their quality as well. Hey Cincy and Uconn, you guys want to buy some BCS tickets? 

I rank this move about a 6 out of 10, and I’ll give them credit where it’s due by bumping up current ACC team’s buyouts to leave the conference, and a preemptive move to 14 teams. In basketball, this will be great. But if you are trying to pack the stands and drive attendance to your games…it’s a fail. How many road trips will the SC/NC/GA/FL schools take to Pittsburg and Syracuse? Not many….

Big East-

Oh John Marinatto, it’s time for you to make yourself a history. You are now Davy Crockett defending the Alamo. I know you had a conference last night in NYC, and I know that you’ve been given the thumbs up from all remaining conferences about their commitment to you and the Big East. I do want to this down in a football/basketball sense, because we all know the Georgetown/Providence/.etc schools don’t field a football team. 

Football: OK, so you have been depleted by 2 schools that have had better days, but with the schools that you are talking about adding…you could make the Big East a better conference. By looking at Army and Navy, you would have 2 of the 3 service academies, and keep things for the most part regional. This would guarantee you a national game on CBS at the end of the year, and bring their tradition and pageantry to your conference. Many have thought about bringing East Carolina up from C-USA, and this could be a great move as well. They have shown they can compete with the big boys (see Virginia Tech / South Carolina from this year), and have a loyal fan base that will travel. (Due to the fact there aint shit to do in Greenville, NC…but I digress).

Basketball: It’s hard to imagine the Big East being void of Syracuse and Pitt…but more so Syracuse.  The ‘Cuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim will feel right at home in the ACC and their exposure. BUT COME ON. Syracuse/Uconn is a hell of a rivalry. Not to mention ALL OF THE OTHER BASKETBALL SCHOOLS! The Big East in basketball is the SEC in football…and to an extent the ACC in basketball. Quick, SEC football - what comes to mind? Auburn, Alabama, Florida, Georgia. ACC basketball? North Carolina and Duke. Big East basketball? Georgetown, Syracuse, Villanova, Uconn. It’s all about recognition, and unfortunately the Big East has lost one of their greats. This will be the hardest spot to fill, as you won’t find any school with this much tradition sitting around and waiting.

If the Big East gets their act together, I see it helping out in football, and irreplaceable talent in basketball. 5 out of 10

SEC – Hold it right there Texas A&M. I know that we said we were all about having you, but now that your brothers and sisters are apologizing, we may not want you to join our family just yet. I’m not fully convinced that Mike Slive wants TAMU in the SEC just yet. To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants in general. If the Big 12 makes it with no teams jet setting to other conferences, then does he want to be the one to pull the lynchpin? We all know the ACC is up to 14 teams, but come on. 12 SEC schools are better than 14 ACC schools. The SEC has always been on the forefront of Conference development, by adding South Carolina and Arkansas in 1992, and being the first conference to have a 12 team, 2 division leagues with a championship game. Look for these guys to jump to 14 teams…but there is always the chance TAMU stays put in the Big 12. However, if they do make the move…and the SEC goes after Missouri (as indicated), one report has Auburn making the move to the East. Chaos.

PAC 12: Well wouldn’t you look at that. Commissioner Larry Scott has proven that he has quite the brain on his shoulders, and that more is not always best. Finally, someone has some sense and says no to expansion. It’s not that Oklahoma wouldn’t have been a good fit out west; it’s more about what makes sense at the time. These guys just expanded, so why do it again. Also, why would you want to be the bad guy who makes the monumental shift to stealing big names from other top conferences? I applaud his hands off approach when it comes to adding in existing Big 12 members. Let those idiots fight it out amongst themselves…and then go from there. Patience is a virtue, and I firmly believe this is what gives Larry Scott a bump to being one of the top Commissioners in big time college athletics today. 

Big 12 – LIVE AT 6, ...We have a hostage situation in Las Colinas! Commissioner Beebe has a gun held to his head by what appears to be a horse mascot by the name of Boomer or Sooner. We can’t get an official ID; stay tuned to NEWS 5 ALIVE 5 SUPERDOPPLER 4000X!!! What balls Oklahoma has. They pretty much are standing up to Beebe and demanding that he be fired, and Texas give up a chunk of their objectives with the Longhorn Network. (No high school games, no Big 12 conference games) If these are not met, they may jet off to another conference. I firmly believe that OK has been bluffing the entire time to just stick it to the Big 12’s darling Longhorns. Of course, many see Nebraska’s move as the initial F YOU to the conference…and setting the dominoes to fall one way or the other. Many, many people in Alabama could see TAMU staying put (as well as other Big 12 schools) if their demands are met.

 In times like these, it’s best to exercise caution, and if we follow Larry Scott’s method…college football remain safe and viable for years to come.

-Gamblin Boss

ACC / A SHE SHE WEEK 3 PICKS THAT WILL LIKELY GO WRONG

Welcome to the third installment of The ACC's Public Indecency Scrum Scrimmage (or ACC PISS for short). Also, here's a reminder (above) at just how popular this league is! Look at the fans in blue supporting their team!  YAY ACC CHAMPIONSHIP! WE ARE A BCS CONFERENCE! Here's this weeks game picks that will hopefully go right. Hope you all have a lovely weekend...and stay tuned for my Picks against the spread coming later today. I really, really, really hope that all of you have the Garder-Webb / Wake Forest game tuned in tomorrow. It's going to be APOCALYPTIC!


Last Week - (8-1)  THANKS UVA! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! LYLAS! SUPER JOB!
Total - (16-2)

• Auburn @ Clemson 12:00 ABC – This is a tough game for me to even think about. I hate Auburn and Clemson, but you can’t measure how much hate is geared toward the other school from South Carolina. Auburn does not deserve to be 3-0, and nor do I want Clemson to be the first team to beat the defending national champions (whatever that means). I could do the cute thing and pick “TIGERS TO WIN!”, but I’d lose not only my credibility…but my dignity as well. SEC >>>>>>>ACC, and I don’t care where the game is played. Pick: Auburn

• West Virginia @ Maryland 12:00 ESPN – Ok Maryland, let’s see what you have. No, I’m serious.  I’ve shown you mine, now you show me yours. We do this every year about this time and I can’t get an opinion on you. Either you show up on Saturday and tell me who you really are, or I’m going to bring in Scooby Doo and the gang to get some answers. I can’t believe in you until I see something that proves me otherwise. Saturday is your opportunity. However, I still think you are still the same old Maryland, and gets to play in their own bowl game (See: Eagle Bank Bowl), or the tire bowl in Charlotte. Pick: West Virginia.

• Dook @ Boston College 12:30 ACC Network – Here’s a cool fact. The ACC network is not carried in Alabama. That’s awesome. Here is the PERFECT REASON WHY. Could anyone please tell me why in the hell this game is on the ACC Network? HERE’S OUR CHANCE TO SEE BOSTON CHESTNUT HILL IN THE FALL. I can’t pick this game accurately. Both teams could suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Duke’s lost to Richmond and Stanford at home. BC has lost to Central Florida and Northwestern. I’ve got to take the home team simply because of my sandbox theory: “When a child is at a friend’s house and playing in their sandbox, the visiting child gets upset when they have to pick up and go home. The child who’s sandbox is being used is most happy”. Pick: Bahston Callage

• Kansas @ Georgia Tech 12:30pm RSN – What the hell is RSN? Anyway, look for Georgia Tech to take care of the Jayhawks. Maybe they could come play with the ACC. I really, really, have nothing to say about this game. Borefest. Pick: Georgia Tech

• Virginia @ UNC 3:30 ESPNU – At this point, it’s only week 3 and I am regretting assigning myself to the ACC for game capsules. I am trying to be objective…but come on man…really? There isn’t a damn thing to  say about this game. BUT YOU MAKE DOOK AND BOSTON COLLEGE SOUND FUNNY!!! I’m still learning that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. That, and it’s difficult to take any team seriously who’s home stadium is under 60,000 people. Pick: UNC

• Arkansas State @ Virginia Tech 4:00 RSN – Wow. Whatever cable company RSN is, they are getting their money’s worth Saturday. What a way to follow up Kansas and Georgia Tech! Hands down, this is easily the biggest redneck battle of the weekend. I’m just hoping that Radford has a home game as well…then the greater Blacksburg area will be the closest thing to Morgantown, WV that you’ll ever see in Virginia. The Hokies are still working out the kinks and will contend for the ACC title, but remember to win…you have to be good. Wake Forest/Dook/UVA good. Pick: Virginia Tech

• South Alabama @ NC State 6:00 ESPN3 – This just sounds like all kinds of fun. Do you think that this is what God dreams about if he/she was an ACC fan? I mean, does it get any better than hosting South Alabama in Raleigh? The ONLY thing that would make this better is if the Hurricanes had a home game, and the NC State Fair was in town. Pick: NCSU

• Gardner-Webb @ Wake Forest 6:30 ESPN3 – Well, speaking of God…here’s a matchup he/she defiantly plans on attending. It’s the Christian College against the Demon Deacons! Doesn’t this sound a little bit like the Apocalypse? I fully expect Wake to be led out of the tunnel by trumpets and 4 horses. (I promise you, one of these will occur) You heard it here first, evil defeats good - and the end of times is much closer after Saturday. Pick: Wake Forest

• Oklahoma @ Florida State  8:00 ESPN – As stated before, I’m going to be watching this game post Carolina/Navy…and with a FSU grad/soon to be bro in law. This will be a much better game than last year…but come on everyone. Think about this…long and hard. Why is there no more room on the bandwagon for fans of FSU? Why all the hype after a CFA bowl appearance and beating a team that was led by a hungover QB? I get it, you are a good team in the ACC that will contend. But I fully expect this to not even be close. Oklahoma is as advertised, and big game Bob Stoops is pretty decent in the season, on the road. (BUT NOT IN BOWL GAMES!) Pick: OOOOOOOklahoma where the wind blows sweeping down the Plains! OKLAHOMA – OK!

• Ohio State @ Miami 7:30 ESPN – What can you say about this game that hasn’t been said already? Tattoos? Cars? Money? Boats? Jet Ski’s? How about how terrible Miami is. If you had the pleasure of getting to watch their game at Maryland…you’ll see how bad it was. BUT GAMBLIN BOSS, WE DIDN’T HAVE OUR STAR QB! Tough shit! Harris is a piss poor excuse for a quarterback, BUT AGAIN, THIS IS ACC FOOTBALL WE’RE TALKING ABOUT! I know it’s a road game for OSU, and I know that it’s also a Big 10ish school….but Former Joe Robbie Stadium is not exactly a threatening place to play. OSU destroys Miami football faster than Donna Shalala’s handling of the Nevin Shapiro allegations. Pick: OSU   

 Stay Classy,
-Gamblin Boss 

Week 2’s Dark Drinks, Dark Horses & Dark Thoughts – What I Learned On And Off The Field

Dark Drinks:

• I’ve got to hand it to myself; Saturday was one of those days where when I woke up…I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY. Rolling out of bed at 9AM and hitting Waffle House for some hash browns and eggs would provide a solid base for my day of drinking. When we walked in to Casa De Waffle, I was surprised at how awesome this place was. Not only was everyone wearing some form of college affiliated shirt, but the cooks had their own Alabama jersey with their name on the back. You can’t hide class…even off of Highway 280 in Birmingham.
• I’m not going to lie; Saturday was a clinic on how you are to drink as an adult….14 straight hours. 10AM-midnight. Averaging about 2.5 beers an hour. The drink of choice was the one and only Natty Light (which you can get delicious 30 packs of here for $13) with a smattering of Jim Beam Devil’s cut thrown in to ease me through the Carolina/Georgia game. The soon-to-be Mrs. Boss even commented on how great of a shape I was in, considering how the Gamecocks got a W in Athens 3 hours ago at the time. One thing that I can tell you all is to AVOID the Thai Curry wings from buffalo Wild Wings after 11pm. Trust me on this – your stomach and everything else on the south end of your body will thank you. A- for consistent drinking effort throughout the day. Some could call in binge drinking…I call it an all day tailgate.

Dark Horses:

• Gamblin’ Boss’ PICKS: I’m not going to lie, didn’t think I would be doing this well. 6 wins, 3 ties, 2 losses and up a solid number of units on the year. Spread the word to your friends that I apparently seem to know what I am doing. Either that, or start fading me starting this weekend.
• More than 1 TV: My apartment was a mini sports bar on Saturday. From 11AM until 11PM, we had games going on 3 televisions. This is one of those instances where more than 1 thing is a good thing. I could enjoy the ADD Sports bar world, watch what I want, and be in the comfort of my own apartment.
• Central Standard Time: I’m beginning to think that CST is the way to go. For example, the Thursday NFL game got over about 10:45; which was plenty of time to still get a decent night of sleep. Saturday was bonkers with games kicking off at 11:00AM. Gameday was on at 9, with their pregame show on earlier than that. Was it weird seeing games that early on TV? Yes…but it felt oh so right.
• Auburn: OK, I get it. People were all over Mississippi State, and how this was the year they get things done in the SEC West. I will hold judgment until a few more weeks, but when you play in a division that has LSU, Alabama, and Arkansas in it (of whom you have to still play)…it’s mighty important to win the games that you should win. This was one of them. Auburn, could you be a dark horse? Is it possible for the defending national champion to be a dark horse? I don’t know…and I guess the point of what I am trying to get to is that I can’t get a good read on them. They have talent…but again. All they have played are the likes of MSU and Utah State.
• Mark Richt: I’m going to go out on a limb and say that he maintains his job. UGA should have beaten South Carolina this past Saturday. I fully can’t put the blame on coaching because they had some pretty bad luck. Had they not been half a foot offsides, they recover an onsides kick. Had they stopped Melvin Ingram (the one man wrecking crew); they might have had a chance. Murray made some great passes and he’ll be the guy who saves Marky Mark’s job.
• Cam Newton, Carolina Panthers edition: Wow, just wow. The kid puts up 422 in his regular season debut, and tied (get this) the exact same record shared by Matt Stafford as the most yards completed by a Rookie. HE MAKES IT INTERESTING AGAIN TO WATCH PANTHER’S FOOTBALL.  I’m thinking that he will be able to get 5-6 wins for the ‘Kittens this year, but after the first week they are tied for first in the NFC South at 0-1. Keep your head up Cammy Cam.

DARK THOUGHTS:

• NCAA Football > NFL Football: There, I said it. It’s very difficult to argue against this if you are all about close games and competitiveness. The first week of the NFL had some terrible games, including Buffalo/KC and Pitt/Baltimore. BLOWOUTS. Yea, yea…I know they said this morning that last night’s SNF game with Jets/Cowboys was the highest rated SNF game ever…but let’s be real. What else were you going to watch last night? MORE 9/11 DOCUMENTARIES? Last night was the modern day “what happens when the Wizard of Oz is on one of the only three channels.” Football wins over 9/11 any day of the week.

Getting back to my point, ratings could be skewed slightly because hey…there are what, maybe 30 games on TV a weekend? The NFL has only 16, with 15 on Sundays. If you watched NCAA football all day this past Saturday, you had the early kick of Auburn/MSU turn into a last play shootout, the afternoon game of South Carolina/Georgia turn into a slugfest that came down to an onsides kick, and finally you had the night cap of Michigan and Notre Dame. 3 outstanding games that came down to the last minute, second, drive, whatever. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not surrounded by the trash that is Redskins/Baltimore fans anymore and I can dedicate most of my time to College Football….which leads to better enjoyment overall. I’m not saying that this is 100% always the case, but it is hard to argue that Sunday was better than Saturday.

• How terrible could the ACC be this year? As stated, I don’t watch the ACC’s competitive egg toss on Saturdays that often, but checking out the scores you have to wonder how they get an automatic BCS bid. Va Tech had a close, 1 TD game difference at East Carolina. Boston College got stomped BY CENTRAL FLORIDA. Wofford about beat Clemson….AT CLEMSON. Stanford destroyed DOOK. UNC squeaked a 2 point win out over RUTGERS at HOME.  UVA had to score 11 points in a minute and a half to beat INDIANA. You know it’s bad when you have to look at FSU’s win over D2 Charleston Southern and Georgia Tech’s win over hapless Middle Tennessee State for good signs. Do you think ESPN is loading the gun and getting ready to pull the trigger on themselves?
• Alabama fans: Saturday was a social experiment in a sense for me. I had about 5-6 hardcore ‘Bama fans over to watch the games…and not one time did ANY of them stray their eyes over to the South Carolina/UGA game. Even at halftime they found themselves glued to the commercials. I kid you not. 8 minutes to go, the Tide are up by 3 scores AND THEY ARE STILL WATCHING THIS LIKE IT’S THE FIRST PLAY. I’m not saying all Bama fans are crazy, but dear Lord are they dedicated. The game is over, and you have a HUGE SEC game on, yet you still won’t watch because you want to see another score.
• Zaxby’s Chicken Finger Plate (Large): I made one large glaring error in this weekend’s food choice while drinking. When my friends left, I said “bring me back some wings!”. Little did I know that they were going to Zaxby’s after a last minute change from Buffalo Wild Wings. I lost out on Zax sauce, toast, and delicious French fries.

ACC / A SHE SHE WEEK 2 PICKS THAT WILL LIKELY GO WRONG

I really, really, really despise the ACC and their conference passing off hour long egg tosses as football games. Granted the MD/UM game in primetime on Monday was somewhat entertaining (admit it, only because of the jerseys), but you still left yourself wondering how Dook could drop a game to Richmond – at HOME – for the second time in three years. WE ARE THE MIGHTY MIGHTY ACC! 

• Rutgers @ UNC – As stated in the games to watch posting, Rutgers is a former shell of themselves and need a quality road win. UNC is looked at by some to be a true sleeper (which all teams in the ACC are….ZING) and can springboard their season with a win. Look for this to be closer than the experts have it pegged. Pick: UNC

• NC State @ Wake Forest – Both of these teams I can’t get a read on. Anytime NCSU thinks they are good, they will drop an easy game. Wake Forest thinks they are better than they really are…but sometimes will surprise teams. I wouldn’t call playing in a stadium under 50,000 people a home field advantage, nor is a bus ride from Raleigh to Winston-Salem a road trip. Pick: NC State

• Wofford @ Clemson – Clemson finds themselves playing another cupcake week 2, which ain't exactly saying much for the Tigers. Wofford is a sneaky team with a powerful running game, and could give the Mighty Tiiiiiiiiiig’s a run for their money in Death Valley. This is one of those “we play a school in SC every year” games, so don’t expect Dabo to put the pedal down. Clemson goes 2-0 on paper…but still an awful team in everyone’s mind. Pick: Clemson

• Stanford @ Dook – I fully expect there to be quantum physics calculations drawn up in the dirt before kickoff. That, and if Dook doesn’t pull out the black jerseys again for this game…I’ll be mildly disappointed. Like I said last week; “Dook has a track around its field. Dook is not a very good team”.  Andrew Luck has a field day…without his TI-83 calculator. Pick:  Stanford

• Virginia Tech @ East Carolina – AIR RAID OFFENSE! ECUS put up some great numbers last week against South Carolina, and look for more of the same against Virginia Tech at home. Virginia Tech is another one of those ACC that can’t get the ball rolling unless something bad happens. (See: JMU 2010) This could be another high scoring affair, so it could be entertaining. Pick: Virginia Tech

• Charleston Southern @ FSU – Here is a valid candidate for cupcake of the week. I can’t even come up with anything to talk about to make this more interesting. The only thing worse than an ACC game is an ACC cupcake game…against a D2 school. Pick: FSU

• Georgia Tech at Middle Tennessee State – This looks like a game where the Ramblin’ Wreck should be able to take care of business…but how the hell do you negotiate a home/home series with MTSU? Ever heard of a one-off? Georgia Tech wins, but won’t blow them out. Pick: Georgia Tech

• Virginia @ Indiana – How in the hell did this deal come up? Who is going to travel to Bloomington, IN? “Caruthers, bring forth another scotch and brandy…my glass is getting low”. I just see this getting ugly with pitchforks and Farmer John getting ticked off at the 200 that make the trip. A Hoosier victory with almost guaranteed chants of “HOOSIER DADDY” over and over will keep that from happening. Pick: Indiana

• Boston College at Central Florida – Ah, maybe we get to see what BC is made of after dropping one at home last week to Northwestern. I for one don’t see much in the tank for this team, and Central Florida will likely go to 2-0 and building off of the momentum from the Liberty Bowl/Georgia beat down. (Insert eye roll here) Pick: Central Florida

Last Week: 8-1 (THANKS FOR NOTHING DOOK)