Week 5 SEC Picks (Aaaand FIU and Air Force)

(I hate Jack Black, but do you get it anyway??)

Texas A&M vs Arkansas (Irving, TX):  Remember whatever I write here today, cause next year when this is an SEC West game, I’ll just cut and paste this.  I’m still unhappy that A&M will be joining the SEC next year.  Partly because I’m the “old man in the barbershop” as current ESPN great, Scott Van Pelt would say.  But mainly because I just don’t see what they bring to the conference.  They had a phenomenal year last year and still might have a phenomenal year this year.  If that’s the case that would represent the only two years in the last 17 that A&M has really, truly been relevant.  At any rate, most people think this will be an offensive shootout; A&M has NFL caliber players at QB, WO, and RB.  The Hogs have NFL players at QB and WO.  I disagree however, I think A&M’s 3-4 defense is improving under second year DC Tim DeRuyter and I think they will have enough to slow down Arkansas.  The Razorbacks, conversely, still are struggling on defense especially with their starting DE Jake Bequette missing this game.  OUR PICK:  Aggies win

Mississippi St. @ Georgia:  Bulldog on Bulldog crime!  When will the senseless violence end?!?!  One thing comes to mind when I think about Bulldog on Bulldog hatred…Rodney King (move to the :55 mark for Mr. King’s immortal words).  Last week, we went over how ridiculously bland Mississippi State’s opponent nicknames have been.  Well this is the last week.  More to the point, we all knew Georgia wasn’t going to stay down.  They’ve beaten two bad teams (our favorite coach and his Coastal Carolina Chanticleers and Ole Miss/Aunt Kathy) but Mark Richt’s boys have been resilient and will continue the charge this week.  I said it after week two’s Auburn/MSU game; sorry Dan Mullen, I don’t have to pay attention to you for the foreseeable future.  OUR PICK:  Uga/Russ (he’s just an interim Uga apparently) and the bag of ice for his testicles should win.

Herp Derp Nation @ LSU:  Generic nickname game #2!!  Oh god this one is gonna be gross.  Kentucky fans, please stop with the reminders of 2007 when y’all upset LSU while they were #1.  Seriously, you only serve to embarrass yourself in front of everyone.  YOU WILL NOT WIN THIS GAME!  Stop being a fan, and honestly ask yourself why you think you can win?  Is it the fact the game is played in Death Valley?  Yeah that’s an easy place to win.  Cause y’all have a better mascot?  Oh really??  WHAT WOULD THE BOYS FROM THE HANGOVER SAY ABOUT THAT???  Or is it LSU’s defense?  Ya know, the one that has shut down far better offenses than yours multiple times this season.  Personally, I think y’all are in line for the upset because of dominant inside play from DeMarcus Cousins and Patrick Patterson.  Those guys are a double-double every night.  Sorry Herp Derps, I’m just tryin to show you the light at the end of the tunnel.  OUR PICK:  Louisiana State

Buffalo @ Tennessee:  Ok, so my upset special of the week last week didn’t come to fruition.  So what?  I went out on a limb for goodness sakes.  I can assure you, though, that Tennessee will not be involved in an upset special of the week for the second straight week.  These are not the 2008 Buffalo Bulls!  (Or maybe it’s 2009…I don’t know.  Whatever that ONE season that Buffalo was good...EVER).  Tennessee has way too many good players, even without the services of WO Justin Hunter, to lose this one at home.  It will be interesting to see how that injury impacts the Vols moving forward.  OUR PICK:  Tennessee

Auburn @ South Carolina:  As former ABC announcing great, Keith Jackson used to say “Whooaaaaa Nelly!”  This could go either way.  Auburn couldn’t do me a favor and beat tOSiSC two weeks ago, so now we all have to hear about how “good” that team is.  I just don’t know what to expect from Auburn.  They seem sneaky don’t they?  I would not be at all surprised if Auburn wins this game.  Highly disappointed, and a terrible person to be around after the game?  Certainly, but I wouldn’t be surprised.  Carolina, I have no idea what’s going on under center.  We have a top 5 QB coach in the history of college football and yet, the best QB we’ve had under him is Blake Mitchell (wow…remember him??).  For all those fans cheering for/hoping for Connor Shaw last week vs Vanderbilt, I simply ask why?  What has he shown that has lead you to believe he can play well?  I know Garcia is about as confusing as a Rubik’s Cube, but at least he has shown he can do some good things.  I’m not confident at all in my pick but I’m going to make it anyway.  OUR PICK:  South Carolina

Alabama @ Florida:  I’m going to the Auburn/South Carolina game, but man do I wish I was gonna be at this one.  I mean if you are a fan of offensive football then you will probably not want to watch this one.  Saban and his “F@#k you, I’m playing two QB cause I want to” system, hasn’t resulted in a dominating offense yet.  Florida is improved but still has holes on offense.  No every down back and no real dominant WO are probably the top two issues.  If you are a defensive football fan however, this will give you a chubby.  NFL caliber players litter both defenses.  Alabama’s secondary is outstanding.  They will be missing LB CJ Moseley but they should be able to overcome.  Florida has a very good defensive front seven, which should make it slightly more difficult for Trent Richardson and Eddie Lacy to run wild.  This might be a DVR game, just to watch it on Sunday.  OUR PICK:  Alabama

Aunt Kathy @ Fresno State:  I feel like this is the fifth time in five weeks I have wanted to completely ignore the Aunt Kathy Rebels.  They lost to Vandy and Georgia in back-to-back weeks and now travel all the way to Fresno, CA.  Yeah Houston Nutt’s boys should be fired up over this one.  If anybody can motivate them it’s him right?  I mean he’s done it so much this year.  Hell, fans are starting to threaten physical violence against Nutt, the AD, and the school president unless Houston is fired.  Come on folks, that’s a BIT over the top don’t you think?  That notwithstanding, the chickens are getting restless in Oxford, MS.  The slow bleed to put Houston Nutt out of his misery continues this week.  OUR PICK:  Fresno State, UPSET SPECIAL of the WEEK!!!

Sun Belt Game of the Week Presented by The South Florida High School Sports Show; Dook @ FIU:  Are you shittin me FIU??  We give you love here.  ESPN starts givin you love.  You are in the “Others Receiving Votes” section of the polls for the first time in program history and you go out and drop a home game to Louisiana hyphen???  I don’t care that they are the Fightin Jake Delhomme’s!  I don’t care!  That is assanine!  I like you, I really do, but Jesus tits I can’t do this if you are not going to be committed, ok?  Now I’m sorry I had to go off on you like that, but you hurt me last week.  Don’t do it again.  This is a home game.  Richmond beat Dook.  More importantly though, Dook “has a track around their football field” as the Gamblin Boss said.  Don’t lose this game.  OUR PICK:  FIU, but I swear to you…(insert hand raised like you’re going to backhand slap FIU)

Service Academy Game of the Week Presented by my brother, Capt. Richard Harr (USAF); Air Force @ Navy:  So my brother was deployed again on Monday.  He was lucky enough to get the last eight months off to enjoy his wife, Mikki, and the birth of their son Cohen and (and this is only slightly less important) to see me get married to Mrs. Munnerlyn in June.  They are stationed at Hurlburt Field (that’s tough to say haha) in Pensacola, FL, but for the next two months he will be busy dominating the enemy “elsewhere.”  Due to Air Force regulations, he is not allowed to tell us where he is going.  Kinda bad ass that he can’t tell us, I’m not gonna lie, but it’s mainly sucky.  Oh well, such is life right.  Anyway, he will be the presenting sponsor for the remaining service academy game picks for the duration of his deployment.  Just wanted to give everyone some background so we all understood why his name would be up there each week.  OUR PICK:  Air Force…of course.  -Major Munnerlyn