YAYYY! ITS TDIME FO DA A C C PIX OFFTH DA WEEK!! (insert monster noises/grunts/all around sounds of displeasure)
North Carolina @ Clemson
Clemson, S.C.
12:00 PM TV: ESPN
Clemson, S.C.
12:00 PM TV: ESPN
- First and foremost…this write-up is coming from a Carolina fan on a bye week, whom still has a bad taste in his mouth from the Derp that was the Terps this past Saturday night. You are up 18, at home, to a Clemson team that you can beat. Could you tackle? Maybe double a few WR’s? GOOD GOD. I’m still on the fence about the Tigers, but the more I watch I am starting to think they have plenty of raw talent and catching back up to the Gamecocks talent wise. Boyd seems to be doing better than what was expected at QB, so I can’t say anything other than he’s exceeded expectations. UNC has been an up and down team from what I have gathered. Hell, they couldn’t even beat a Louisville team in Chapel Hill by more than 10. That’s LOUISVILLE. It seems that Clemson is just waiting for someone to beat them, and the Tar Holes have a little bit of confidence. I’m hoping that they can be the team that brings the “Mighty Tiiiiigs” back down to earth because we all know there is only one thing worse than an undefeated Clemson team…and that’s full blown AIDS. Pick: Clemson (but take UNC and the points)
Wake Forest @ Duke
Durham, N.C.
12:30 PM TV: ACC Network
Durham, N.C.
12:30 PM TV: ACC Network
- DON’T SLEEP ON THE DEAMON DEACONS! Just ask Florida State…who thought it would be easy to stroll into Winston-Salem and take a win. Fortunately for everyone keeping score at home, we won’t have to worry about that as Dook has the honor of taking the bus ride down I-85/40. (See what I did there? KEEPING IT LOCAL PEOPLE!) There is not a single part of this game that says “WATCH ME”, but I’m sure I’ll have to just check in to see who shits the bed first. Pick: Wake
Boston College @ Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, Va.
3:00 PM TV: RSN
Blacksburg, Va.
3:00 PM TV: RSN
- God, please…just make it stop. I can’t justify this Boston College team. Pick: Virginia Tech
NC State @ Virginia
Charlottesville, Va.
3:30 PM TV: ESPNU
Charlottesville, Va.
3:30 PM TV: ESPNU
- All those who had Virginia beating Georgia Tech last week please step forward. DON’T YOU DARE WALK FORWARD BECAUSE YOU LIE. What a week it was for those in HooTown, USA. There weren’t enough Clorox bleach pens in Charlottesville to get all the red wine stains out of everyone’s clothes after the post-game celebration. WINE AND CHEESE FOR EVERYONE! EVEN YOU TINY TIM! NC State on the other hand has really been kicking themselves in the ass this year…well wait…TOM O’LEARY has been kicking his self in the ass this year. Was it really a good idea to tell Russell Wilson “Hey, either its all football or you are out”? Yea, brilliant there chief. Don’t look for this to be another W for the Wahoos…but at this point, who really cares? Pick: NC State
Maryland @ Florida State
Tallahassee, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ABC/ESPN2
Tallahassee, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ABC/ESPN2
- All those in favor of just acting like Florida State wasn’t preseason top 10 say AYE. (Resounding cheer from the northern Florida area) I know, you’ve had your injuries…and you played some tough teams…(Clemson…Wake?) but what’s happened is inexcusable. Is it too late to resurrect Bobby Bowden? Maryland…I’m shaking my head at you. What in the hell did you do last week? The ONE chance you had to remain relevant in the ACC was blown. You even brought out some more super cool uniforms! Chevy Chase Field was packed at 48,000 people going crazy! (Insert laugh about stadium size/penis size) At this point, I’d just pack it in and quit your football program and concentrate on getting Gary Williams back because you couldn’t even do the one thing that most teams can handle: WIN after having an 18 point lead in the second half.
Miami Gardens, Fla.
3:30 PM TV: ESPN
3:30 PM TV: ESPN
- Did they really think that by adding “Gardens” to Miami Gardens was going to spruce the place up a little? It’s still dumpy Miami and Joe Robbie Stadium if you ask me. The bet within the bet for this game will be total attendance…over/under 32,100. My heart says over, but brain says under. Georgia Teach decided to derp it up last week apparently because they were tired of being undefeated. Who knew that it was such a tough chore? Miami is easy the biggest enigma in the ACC because you never know what team will take the field. From hence forth, Miami will be called The Forrest Gump Box Of Chocolates (or TFGBOC for short) for obvious reasons. All I need is someone to Photoshop Randy Shannon’s face on Sally Field’s body to play the mom, and Nevin Shapiro to play Lt. Dan. Pick: Georgia Tech
3 comments:
Maryland had won 3 out of 5 against Clemson (with mediocre teams) going into last week's game. I remember walking through tailgate two of those times (pre-smart-smart phone) and having to ask around about the score, then finding myself being the only one who really seemed to care (I am a Terps fan but still, you'd think Carolina fans would at least be a little excited). This past weekend, a gravely inconsistent pack of Turtles under a new coach without an apparent sense of direction or any kind of quarterback situation (and this is coming from a Carolina fan, again) came out and did the damn thing through the first half to Clemson.
That's when all the text messages started coming in. The wall posts, and I'm sure if I was really on twitter, the twitters.
Thank you Gamecock friends, for finally caring about Maryland football, and double jinxing me, because not only did my retardEdsall Terps blow it like Lindsay Lohan in a rehab resort, but Clemson won.
At least they looked damn good.
PS my word below is lorpoom. Lorpoom.
PS Gary's gone. Even the illustrious volleyball team (back-to-back-to-back ACC champs during a certain 6'5 redhead's reign of terror at the net) have gone to the wayside. Thank God for field hockey and lax flow. And DC area parents who wouldn't let their sons play real sports, because the men's soccer team is damn good too.
That was a mistake...meant to say "getting Gary Williams back". Man, who knew Maryland fans would comment the most?
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