Regardless my seat buddy and I decided to move closer to the field. We ended up one row off of the third base bag where an umpire was just doing his job that night. I however was drunk and had a job to do as well. My new job for the rest of the night was to harass this umpire and try and get something to happen.
I was definitely getting beer when the umpires were announced at the beginning of the game so I did not pay any attention when the umpiring crew was announced. I therefor needed to find out who my victim would be, so I wiki'd "major league umpires," Needless to say Mike Winters came up as Umpire #17.
In case you did not know Mike Winters was the umpire who called Milton Bradley a piece of shit forcing Milton to do what Milton does best and act like an out of control animal. In Milton's rage he ended up tearing his ACL and I believe Mike Winters got fined and even suspended. So what was i going to yell at him all night? Needless to say he was a racist who hated black people for the next two innings and "Mike" shot me some dirty looks.
Well, I said earlier in the story that I was in the second row. After two straight innings of yelling loudly in the peoples ears in front of me they turned around and said "hey asshole shutup that isnt even Mike Winters" I was taken aback. Could i have been harassing the wrong umpire? I then google imaged a picture of Mike Winters. It looked like him. He wore the same number. How could I have been wrong?
The answer? Wikipedia lied. He used to wear #17 or some other bullshit like that and now John Hirschbeck wore #17. This was not lost on me as Hall of Famer Robbie Alomar spit a big fat loogie right in his face. I then proceeded to remind John of this for the next few innings much to the dismay of other people. Needless to say I learned a lesson: Never use Wikipedia as your only source
-Fishsticks
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