Smackdown Review 8/30/11

The WWE has recently started a new trand of airing Smackdown live on Tuesday nights as opposed to its normal tape delayed Friday version. This has one serious benefit (mainly I am normally home on Tuesdays as compared to Fridays) while also having a major fallback (I now have to commit 4 hours to wrestling over two days). Last nights Smackdown was a continuation of the theme presented on Monday Night Raw which is that the biggest stars of each brand will compete on both programs. Thus last night we were able to witness Raw legends John Cena and CM Punk appear on Smackdown, which normally doesn't occur. With that in mind Smackdown led off its program with a match between John Cena and Wade Barrett. 

As I mentioned yesterday John Cena is a worse version of Hulk Hogan in every way.  He is designed to appeal to the 6-13 year old demographic in the same way Hulk was. Instead of telling kids to take their vitamins, Cena preaches that kids adhere to his three tenants Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect. He does this while also changing his t shirt color every four months so that kids have to ***SHOCKER*** BUY more t-shirts!! It is a fantastic ploy on the WWE's part and it is why we will never see Cena make a heel turn (the only way to redeem his character in my opinion) or not be in contention for the heavyweight title. Without the strap or him fighting for the strap, Cena is just another wrestler who is bigger than life, can't sell a move, or can't cut a promo. There is a reason I will buy CM Punk t-shirts and not Cena shirts. 

Last night Cena opened up Smackdown cutting another abysmal promo about how he was going to beat Alberto Del RRRRRRRRRRRRRRiiiiioooo at Night of Champions to win his 8 millionth WWE title. While he was in the middle of this terrible promo Wade Barrett came out to challenge him to a grudge match over some beef from a year and a half ago. It was the stupidest angle ever but they needed a match and the crowd liked it. Just like every Cena match in the history of man it ended with the five moves of doom. 

If you have never seen Cena before that is how every match ends.

Other highlights from last night include the following:

Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne cutting a promo where they mention how bad the tag team division has been recently. They go as far to say there are no tag teams anymore like Demolition or Legion of Doom. Listen Vince Russo, if you are reading our blog we appreciate it but if you are going to plagiarize at least give us a shoutout!

Sin Cara squared off against Daniel Bryan. I mentioned yesterday that I was not a fan of Cara due to my refusal to believe he could ever beat someone as big as Jack Swagger. Well when he is fighting another high flyer such as Daniel Bryan it works much better. Not only can they both sell each others moves, but I can actually believe that his stupid frogsplash-moonsault combo could actually harm D Bryan whereas it is comical when he uses it against a bigger opponent like Swagger. The E is obviously making a big push for Sin Cara as they had him defeat D Bryan (the Smackdown Money in the Bank Winner). 

Divas Match: Kelly Kelly two nights in a row!!! Twenty minutes of my life down the drain, two nights in a row!!!!

CM Punk, HHH, and Nash continued their feud with an official contract signing for Night of Champions. Like all contract signings HHH and CM Punk squabbled over why they needed to fight, a table got over turned and someone inevitably got kicked in the face. HHH and Punk both cut good promos about why they needed to beat each others asses. HHH used his famous "I am going to beat your fat skinny ass" line which always makes me smile while Punk methodologically discussed why HHH is a liar and he needed to bring the punishment. Both guys are at the top of the WWE when it comes to cutting promos and it is a treasure to watch them together. When they were done signing the contract, the NWO music hit and Nash ran down and kicked Punk in the teeth. Great segment.  

The main event of the night was a steel cage match between Christian and Randy Orton. It is a shame this feud is played out, because they really do great work together. I think steel cage matches were when I realized growing up that wrestling was fake. I could never quite understand why the jackasses took so long to climb over the cage or run out the door. It always seemed to me that they took waaaaaaaaaaaayyy too long attempting to win their match. Needless to say some poor kids illusions were shattered last night when a whole lot of that occurred.  Orton hit Christian with an RKO off the top turnbuckle to earn the pinfall victory. While he was exhausted from his victory Mark Henry ran out and beat his ass setting up their title fight at Night of Champions.

This Smackdown was a very mixed bag for me but it did well to advance a couple key story elements with an excellent cage match. 6/10

-Fishsticks