Week 12 SEC Picks!!!

Normally I would put a picture of something based on the word "pick."  For those of you that truly have not seen  "what I did there" all season, that's what I have been doing.  Honestly if it took you this long to figure that out, you are dumb, you are really, really dumb (skip to the 1:20 mark of the video).  With matchups against teams like The Citadel, Furman, Samford, Georgia Southern, Herp Derp Nation, and Aunt Kathy, ladies and gents I present to you week 12 in the 2011 SEC season, aka "Creampuff Saturday."

(Alright. you HAVE to see what I did here)

The Citadel @ South Carolina:  Boy let's hope the ghost of 1990 (a loss at home to the Bulldogs for the uninformed) or the ghosts of Travis Jervey and/or Nehemiah Broughton aren't running around town for this one.  The Citadel does run the triple option which, as we all saw earlier this year, can cause some problems for our boys on defense.  However, the good news is, The Citadel is not the Naval Academy when it comes to running the option.  This would be a program crushing loss for Carolina, but I don't see it happening.  OUR PICK:  Carolina

        

(Greatest players in Citadel history??  Their parents sure think so!)

Kentucky @ Georgia:  I love Kentucky.  Everything about it.  I love that the Moss wedding is there in April (get your tickets now, they are goin fast!), I love for some reason the state's grass is blue, I love that there were ZERO traffic problems with their inaugural Sprint Cup race (don't pay any attention to the numerous articles and TV talking heads that say otherwise).  Mainly I love the fact that John Calipari in no way at all cheats.  Nope.  I don't care what the previous NCAA investigations (that's two of them in two previous coaching stops) have said.  Nope.  He doesn't cheat.  (If you are wondering why I am so supportive of Kentucky and have not referred to them by their usual nickname, read the writeup for the Auburn/Georgia game from week 11).  OUR PICK:  Georgia...but please Kentucky???  I won't make fun of you until next year if you win this one, I promise!!

Furman @ Florida:  Can the Gators win it to become bowl eligible?  Gosh who would've thought we would be "axing" that question in week 12?  Rrrrrreally could have used that win against Georgia fellas.  Seriously.  That's ok though, I'll move on.  The Gators will win this game.  I want them to win this game, believe it or not, for two reasons; 1)  This guy:

(Former #63 of the Day, Trip Thurman.  Good lookin fella, even with the sideburns)

and 2).  Furman is quarterbacked by a Forcier brother.  If you don't know who that is, just google the Forciers, they're like a whole family of Todd Marinovichs.  And if you don't know who Todd Marinovich is, well then google him after the Forciers.  But I digress....OUR PICK:  Florida, easily

Samford @ Auburn:  Shut up Auburn, I don't have to be nice to you this week...ya jerks.  Couldn't even make it competitive last week huh?  Serves you right you cheatin jerks.  Countdown till you have your national title vacated is back on!!!  OUR PICK:  Auburn

Georgia Southern @ Alabama:  I like three things about Georgia Southern.  1) Their quarterback is named Jaybo Shaw.  His name is Jaybo...awesome. 2).  They run the triple option...awesome. 3) They are the employer of former Panther Athletic Training Intern Great Justin "Matlock" Matlage...awesome.  Sorry Matlock, none of that will be good enough to overcome the Tide.  OUR PICK:  Alabama

Mississippi State @ Arkansas:  In theory this should actually be a high scoring affair.  Neither program likes to play a whole lot of defense, cause ya know, that's not really their "thing."  The good news for Dan Mullen is that the Bulldogs continue their streak of playing teams with unique nicknames, after their plain generic nickname scheduling debacle to open the season.  The bad news for Dan Mullen?  Arkansas seems to score on everyone, and Mississippi State can have off weeks on offense.  OUR PICK:  Arkansas

Uncle Ned @ Tennessee:  Let's go 'Dores!!!!  They can do it this week, the sixth win of the year.  That would make them the first team in college football history to actually be excited for a bid to the BBVA Compass Bowl (shout out to the Gamblin Boss).  And ya know what?  I think they get it done.  That might even make former Vandy great Jay Cutler smile...

...ok maybe not.  OUR PICK:  Uncle Ned gets it done!!

LSU @ Aunt Kathy:  HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Aunt Kathy lost at home to Louisiana Tech last week hahahahahahahahahahaha.  What's that?  They suspended their starting QB too?  HAHAHAHAHA.  One more week Rebel fans...one more week.  OUR PICK:  Geaux Tigers!

-Major Munnerlyn

Week 11 SEC Picks!!

 

(Pick-et Fence...see what I did there?) 

Florida @ South Carolina:  This game scares me simply because it's Florida, and we're South Carolina.  But you know what?  We're a better football team, forget our histories, we are currently, this year, a better team (sorry Trip).  We should win this game, but I fear we will find a way to not win.  BUT working in the Gamecocks favor is that we lost last week and dropped outside the top 10.  That means people aren't paying attention to us anymore so that means we should play well.  That and I still can't get on board with John Brantley, but he's probably due for a 500 yard, Case Keenum-type game.  The best news though?  Kickoff is scheduled for noon, before the Georgia game so our level of play won't be affected by the outcome of the UGA/Auburn game.  OUR PICK:  Carolina

Kentucky @ Uncle Ned:  You'll notice I didn't call the Wildcats by their common Bagmen nickname.  That's because I respect Kentucky and I respect Joker Phillips, immensely.  I mean Gamblin' Boss weddings and great football, that's what Kentucky does baby!!  In all seriousness I'm trying to respect them because Gamecock fans may need them next week vs Georgia.  God help us if it comes down to that, but in the event that it does I say simply, "C A T S Cats Cats Cats!!!!"  OUR PICK:  Uncle Ned...come on now, I'm respecting Kentucky but I'm not a idiot.

Auburn @ Georgia:  Auburn is a great program, there's no doubt about that.  They've earned all their success in the last two years the good, hard working, HONEST way.  Absolutely nothing sketchy has gone on or contributed to any success they've had.  Gene Chizik was a great hire.  I said it at the time they hired him...just a great hire, a visionary hire!  (In case you are wondering, the same principle from the Kentucky/Uncle Ned game is applying to this game as well...really need Auburn here).  OUR PICK: Georgia...damnit.

Tennessee @ Arkansas:  Arkansas fans are prayin to Mike Huckabee that they don't lose this game.  that way they can continue the charade that they still have a chance to play for the national championship.  Or at least pretend they can beat LSU in two weeks.  Stop Arkansas, just stop.  You're annoying everyone.  No truth to the rumor that Derek Dooley is trying to change the term to "Orange pants-Freshman," to honor his pants...seen below:

                                                         

(Which pair has the three month wait? Hmmmmm???)

The only way I would watch this game is to see if Dooley decides to needlessly burn someone else's redshirt, i meant, burn someone else's orangepants.  OUR PICK:  Arkansas

Western Kentucky @ LSU:  I know Carolina plays The Citadel next week which is even worse than this game but I hate this game cause it's happening this week.  I have nothing else to say about this game.  OUR PICK:  LSU

Louisiana Tech @ Aunt Kathy:  Good news Rebel fans!!  The end has officially commenced.  Houston Nutt is out at the end of the year (and the AD too, but who the hell cares about him), so next year you can be irrelevant under a different coaching staff!!  HOORAY!!!!  Just had to get ride of Coach Cutcliffe didn't you?  Here are some fun facts about Louisiana Tech so you can impress your friends:

1). Terry Bradshaw went there

2). Their Coach's name is Sonny Dykes, his father's name is Spyke Dykes (really) which makes them the best father/son coaching name combo in college football.

3).  Karl Malone went there

That is all, those are the only fun facts about Louisiana Tech.  OUR PICK:  Aunt Kathy...somehow.

Alabama @ Mississippi State:  Dan Mullen is fighting for a bowl game again.  But sadly he is gonna get no help in this game.  Alabama is gonna roll through this team.  The game being in Starkville adds only slight intrigue, but the lack of ability to move the ball on Alabama kiiiiinda negates that intrigue.  Bama is a better team so game over.  Sorry Dan.  OUR PICK:  Tide will roll (damnit I did it again).

-Major Munnerlyn

Mythical Playoff Projections Week 10

(Never gets old!  Well...not for me)



The playoffs are mythical, but the projections are as real as it gets, dog.  If you have read my work on here, or better yet if you have ever talked college football with me (Seriously, who talks anymore??  That's sooooo 1997!) you know my disdain for the BCS and the lack of a playoff.  I gave you the initial playoff setup and projections and promised updates throughout the year.  Well here you is, my latest projections.  Remember, top 4 seeds get first round byes and homefield in the second round, before the national finals and finals are played in current big bowl games (Fiesta, Rose, Orange, Sugar, Poulan Weed Eater, and maybe the Cotton).  Ok, nnnooowww here you is:

1).  LSU (SEC Champ)-  I think they have proven they're the top team in the country.  Sure the final score of the Alabama game was "only" 9-6, but they defense is insane.  As I've said, the offense does just enough.
2).  Oklahoma State (Big 12...ish Champ)-  Can an insanely high powered offense win a championship, while dragging a dead leg of a defense behind them?  Well Mike Gundy, you remember him, and his boys are trying to find out.  A potential semifinal matchup vs the Crimson Tide, would help answer that argument.
3).  Alabama (SEC #2)-  Look, I'm a Gamecock, I make no bones about that, but even if we win the SEC East, we are not the second best team in the conference.  Even if Georgia wins the East (please please please Auburn beat them), THEY are not the second best team in the conference.  Everyone wants a rematch between the Tide and Tigers for the National Title, but this is the only way that could happen.  This team could easily be the #2 seed.
4).  Stanford (Pac-12 Champ)-  This is the closest call I had to make.  Stanford or Boise for that 4th seed?  And this is why people who say the regular season would be rendered meaningless are idiots.  You don't think if that first round bye is on the line teams won't be playing their ass off?  Thought so.  Basically the tiebreaker for this spot was that Stanford has Andrew Luck, he's the best player in college football.  I know that shouldn't matter, especially when Boise has a damn good QB in Kellen Moore, but I had to decide somehow.
5).  Boise State (Mountain West Champs/Non-BCS #1)-  Remember, in my model, two of the 12 playoff spots are reserved for non-BCS league champions.  Frankly Boise would make it in even without that stipulation.  They are one fo the five best teams in America, and could easily be the #4 seed, especially if Stanford slips up the rest of the way.
6).  Oklahoma (Big 12...ish #2)-  It will be interesting to see how the Sooners respond to losing All-American Wideout Ryan Broyles for the season.  Knowing how that offense works, they will recover and continue to put up huge points.  Now perhaps they are a little high considering they lost to Texas Tech...at home, which suddenly seems like an atrocious loss.  But I still think they are one of the 10 best teams in America, and could easily climb higher if they win out and beat Oklahoma State.
7).  The Other School in South Carolina (ACC Champ)-  Ecchhhh.  Really grossed out by this.  But they are good.  The conference is not.  That's not a good recipe for those of us who want to see this team fail.  I'm going to take a bath now.
8).  Penn State (Big Ten...ish Champ)-  I did not see this one coming.  I would have guessed Michigan State, Wisconsin, or hell, even Ohio State before this team.  But hey, here we are.  This is probably the most fluid of all the teams on here due to everything that's going on in State College this week. 
9).  Oregon (Pac-12 #2)-  Maybe it's just me, but I feel like this team just absolutely fell off the map after losing to LSU.  Stanford needs to be careful this week, cause the Ducks are still a good team.  This spot was between Oregon and Va Tech, but I couldn't with a  good conscience, put a second ACC team in the playoffs.
10).  Michigan State (Big Ten...ish #2)-  I think this is a pretty good team.  A loss to Notre Dame kinda sticks out (thank God that the Irish won't be going to the BCS or the "playoffs" this year) as does the pitiful effort in Lincoln, NE.  With allll that said, I think they are better than Ohio State, Wisconsin, Georgia Tech, Virginia Tech, and Southern Miss.  So they get the #10 seed.
11).  Houston (C-USA Champ/Non-BCS #2)-  This team has the same principle as the Oklahoma State Cowboys.  Unbelievable offense and just horrible defense.  Defense is even worse than Oklahoma State's, but anytime a quarterback can throw 9 touchdowns in a game, the offense must be doin somthin right huh?  The Cougars could easily be the 12 seed, but I don't want the two non-BCS conference schools playing each other in the first round.  So I elevated them...that plus I have no respect for the Big East.
12). Cincinnati (Big East)- I don't think this team should be allowed in. No one from this conference should be allowed it. It's embarassing how unbelievably below average this conference is. But until and unless the "powers that be" realize that they are not worthy of an automatic bid to a major bowl game, I guess I will play along with the charade.

-Major Munnerlyn

Week 10 SEC Picks!!! (But no service academy or Sun Belt...womp womp)

(See what I did there??)

Uncle Ned @ Florida:  I can't believe I am actually going to write this, but the 'Dores might could maybe win this one.  My apologies to former #63 of the Day, Trip Thurman, but the Gators aren't playin well right now.  Combine that with Uncle Ned's boys playin really well actually, and you have the makings for a potential historic upset (or really bad loss, depending on the fan base of which you are a member).  Jordan Rodgers has improved each game he has been a starter, as a result so has the offense.  If Vandy can grab this one, you can basically mark it down for a bowl game for them.  UPSET SPECIAL!!!!!!!  OUR PICK:  Uncle Ned pulls it off!!

New Mexico State @ Georgia:  I can't really make fun of this game because the Gamecocks play a lesser opponent (The Citadel) at an even later date (November 19^th) but I still hate this game.  Georgia will have no trouble with this one, at all.  Even though their top four rushers will be out,  One because of an injury, and three because they failed a drug test...last week...before the Florida game.  Yeah, that Mark Richt is a disciplinarian huh?  OUR PICK:  Georgia

Aunt Kathy @ Herp Derp Nation:  I don't think anyone will be at this game.  Seriously, I'm gonna predict Commonwealth Stadium (that's the home field of Herp Derp Nation for those who didn't know...which was all of you) will not even be as full as last week, when it looked like this:

OUR PICK:  No one.  No one wins if this game is played.

Middle Tennessee St @ Tennessee:  The most heated rivalry in allll of Middle and Eastern Tennessee!  The Blue Raiders will march into Neyland Stadium and try and steal one.  The two headed monster of Matt Simms and Justin Worley (once again awesome move by Derek Dooley burning a redshirt to use a guy for 3.5 quarters...building a program everybody!!) should be enough to beat Rick Stockstill's boys.  After all this is not the strongest MTSU team in history.  Which brings me to this question: Name the greatest team in Blue Raider history.  Any team will be accepted...  OUR PICK:  Tennessee

South Carolina @ Arkansas:  (Insert sweaty armpits for Gamecock fans).  This one scares the s word out of me.  We don't ever play well against Arkansas,  we don't ever play well in Arkansas, and we don't ever play well when we are ranked highly.  So yeah everything lines up for us.  It should actually be a good game though, a very good Carolina defense vs a very good Razorback offense.  It will be exciting at least.  Not sure if people are going to pay attention when the other sides of the ball are playing.  Of course it's all a moot point, cause 45 minutes after kickoff, the LSU/Alabama game comes on.  Well, here's to hoping this games sticks with old school football thoughts; a good defense will beat a good offense.  OUR PICK:  South Carolina

TN-Martin @ Mississippi State:  Same thing applies to this game as applied to the Georgia/New Mexico State game.  Why is this game being played now?  Honestly, this is why we expanded the season to 12 games??  For late season games like this??  Ohhhhh yeah Davis-Wade Stadium is gonna be rockin with this one.  I mean it’s a great environment to begin with, as noted by Mr and Mrs Gamblin’ Boss, and then you add a great opponent like the Skyhawks (alma mater of former Gamecock great Cade Thompson) and man you just have the makings of a Fox Sports-Starkville classic.  Feel good about yourselves on the way to the Poulan Weed Eater Bowl Dan Mullen!  OUR PICK:  Mississippi State

LSU @ Alabama:  Well this is supposed to be the latest and greatest version of the Game of the Century, so the rest of this game summary will be written in caps lock, due to the magnitude of this matchup (insert throat clearing):  OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!  THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME OF THE CENTURY…FOREVER!  WELL AT LEAST UNTIL THE NEXT GAME OF THE CENTURY!!!  THESE COULD BE TWO OF THE HISTORICALLY GREATEST DEFENSES OF ALL TIME, COUPLED WITH TWO OF THE MOST MIDDLE OF THE ROAD MEDIOCRE OFFENSES.  I’M PRETTY SURE THIS GAME IS GONNA END 10-6, SOME PEOPLE (COLIN COWHERD) THINK BECAUSE THE DEFENSES ARE SO HIGHLY REGARDED THAT THE GAME WILL ACTUALLY BE AN OFFENSIVE SHOOTOUT.  I DISAGREE, THIS ONE WILL FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!!  OUR PICK:  Alabama

And last but not least, I give you David Bennett:

You're damn right we need more dogs, David Bennett. That's why you also need to watch this video:

And folks, if you don't like this video, I don't like you.  Have a great weekend!

-Major Munnerlyn